Happy Easter, spring and haircut

Life in pictures

First time seating in a high chair (Cafe Rio restaurant in Provo)

First time in a shopping cart (Buy Low in Provo)

The day Jane and Mommy were really sick (April 15) - Jane slept all day

Mommy's little bunny (at Joanne's in Orem)

Dying eggs with Mommy

At the Great Cloth Diaper Change in SLC  (we help set a Guinness World Record - 63 little bums changed in Salt Lake and 10000 worldwide)

Cute outfit chosen by Daddy

With the Easter Bunny at the University Mall in Orem.
Jane liked touching her furry face and didn't cry one bit

Bunny ears are fun :)

Christos a inviat!

'My First Easter' outfit - at uncle Daniel's apartment in Provo celebrating Easter and Daniel's graduation - Easter day

Jane excited to open her gift

First time opening a gift by herself!

Cute pyjamas from aunt Terri

Jane rolling over all the way - Easter - 24 April 2011

New haircut - haven't had my hair this short since I was 10 or so :)
I love it and it's so easy to take care of and dry after a shower 

Daddy's little girl - Jane loves her Daddy

With my friend Codruta (at temple Square) - She is 7 months pregnant
I have so many friends who are due in July. So exciting. Can't wait to see all the little babies.

Easter with Momma - Christos a inviat! Adevarat a inviat! Cioc!!! 

Mommy and Daddy sleepy on Easter morning :)

I just turned five months!

Oh my goodness! I can't believe that our little Jane is five months old. She's growing up so fast. I'm excited to see her do 'big kids' things soon but I also enjoy spending every minute of the day with her and seeing her grow.

This month's been pretty good for us and for Jane. We still miss mama Lucy but we're doing ok. We talk with the grandparents and our siblings on Skype every week and they are doing ok as well. We had another party with Eni and Lia at Lia's home and made cute Easter tutus for the girls. Also, Charity, David's sister went into the Missionary Training Center on March 9 to prepare to go on a LDS mission to the California - LA mission, Spanish speaking. She's excited and writes to us every week with updates on how she's doing as a missionary.

Hermana Charity Johansen went into the MTC on March 9th

Jane and I go walking every day and we love the spring warmth and scenery, such as flowers and blooming trees. We decided to take different routes occasionally to explore and see new neighborhoods. It's fun!

Out for a walk in our neighborhood

Jane in her St. Patrick's Day outfit that she wore outside that day

We both enjoy springtime and the nice weather

A month ago I tried giving Jane more solid foods such as oats and vegetable purees but she started having diarrhea so I decided that she might not be ready. Her diarrhea is gone now. I started giving her organic brown rice in her formula and so far she's good; just a little gassy. I'll wait a week and try some puree again. I know that I need to wait a week between introducing a new food and that she needs to get used to the green vegetables first then the fruits and only after all this she can have two things mixed together. We'll see how feeding solids will work out this time... I'm not too eager to have her eat solids but she gets really hungry with just formula so, since the doctor said that it's ok, I'll try solids and see...

Here are the different milestones Jane's accomplished.

She sits up with support and for a few seconds even without support (she supports herself by leaning forward and holding herself up with her arms), she can roll-over from back to front and on her side from her back (almost going all the way to her tummy!), she 'talks' a lot with her toys and with us and sings when I sing to her, she holds her toys and if she drops them she picks them up again, she can put her binky in her mouth by herself, she occasionally sits up by herself in her stroller, laughs when she's excited, looks at us when we call her by name and is very curious about everything.

First time Jane sat up in her stroller

One of the cutest things is to see Jane so happy when David comes home from work or how she looks at me with questioning eyes when she hears something loud. I just love to see her interact with us and develop a personality (sometimes a quite strong personality) :) She knows what she wants and asks for it :) It's so cute when she sees me make her a bottle, how she waits with anticipation but if I take too long she starts screaming and pulls the bottle to her mouth eagerly when I bring it close to her face.

Jane doesn't cry as much when she's on her tummy. She can roll over now! 

No teeth yet and no sign of them either but she still drools a lot and puts everything in her mouth, including her fist or my face :)

Jane sits up with little support for a few seconds

Sleep-wise, we tried co-sleeping in the beginning and it was great when she was a tiny baby, and then we wanted to do it again just recently but it didn't work out anymore. Jane is used to feel the walls of her bassinet in her sleep and would wake up for anything and we were always careful and would wake up whenever she moved.  She's been sleeping in her bassinet for the past couple of months. For her naps, sometimes she wants to be put to sleep on the bed and falls asleep alone but most of the time she requires a bottle. I tried the CIO method once but I just can't have her scream for minutes on end and then wail in her sleep for hours. I'm here for her so I can afford to be her mom and care for her. She goes to bed at night around 1am and asks for a bottle every four to five hours by crying in her sleep. I got her to sleep for about 5 hours just by giving her the binky but she gets really hungry and wakes up early (7am) if I don't feed her. She usually sleeps until 8 or 9am, wakes up, I change her diaper, play a bit and feed her and she falls asleep for another couple of hours, then plays and eats a bit again and falls back to sleep until around 1PM. It's an interesting routine but I don't mind it too much since I need the sleep just as much as she does.

One of Jane's 5 months pictures

Another thing that I like is taking showers with her. She doesn't mind the water running on her face and doesn't cry afterwards like she used to when we gave her baths. Of course that she still takes baths in the sink sometimes but she can sit up now so it's much easier to do then before. Oh, and she loves typing on the keyboard, looking at the pictures in books, listening to music, playing bowling on the Wii in our arms and watching the 'Baby can read' video.

All ready for Easter with her tutu and stuffed animals

Here's a sample of Jane's typing: Ω®rc4zç fhjjjjjjj                  nnnnn                   kk7700  y∫      9n3638hhhn.l5nA8T116YFCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCXdeddl.,t6t6. .7`   (Isn't she smart? :) I don't even know how to make some of those characters. Hahaha)

I'm glad that, even though Jane is becoming more independent, she still loves to cuddle and play with us. We love you Janney, so much!

Four Months Already

Jane is four months old and she just had her well-child appointment. She was so good, even when the nurse gave her the two shots in her legs and one vaccine in her mouth. She didn't even cry for the first shot and the nurse was impressed that she swallowed the vaccine, unlike other babes who just spit it out. Good girl, Jane!
For her stats: Jane is now 14lb 7oz and 24.5in long - big girl
Her doctor was happy with her and congratulated us as parents for doing 'everything right'. Hooray for us!
So, what is Jane doing new this month? Well, lots of cute things! She smiles all the time, looks all around the room to find her mommy and daddy, makes lots of cute noises, sucks on her fist and drools all the time getting her bibs and clothes all wet :) sits in her Bumbo seat all by herself and loves it, reaches for toys that are not in front of her when she lyes on her gym mat, sleeps all night (goes to bed around 10PM and only cries in her sleep a couple of times through the night for some milk and doesn't wake up until 8 or 9AM) eats organic oats cereal with milk and even some yummy green beans after the doctor okey-ed it and she even laughs when something is funny, like looking at mommy's face from above or when mommy and daddy tickle or zerbert her. She is such a happy and alert little girl and we love her A LOT.

Ready to eat!

First time eating organic oats cereal

All messy

My favorite toy-blankey

Reaching for toys 

Only two shots this time!

Plastic bib this time!

First time eating green beans. Pretty tasty!

February

Well, the month of February isn't always one of my favorites because I'm usually fed up with winter by then... but this year it was more exciting because of a few events that took place. First, my Mom was here with us which helped and provided more sleep for me. Second, we had a great Romanian Party with my dear friends at Eni's 'casa de pitici'. ;) I like your cute little house Eni! It feels very welcoming. Fratele Geambasu made mici, sora Geambasu cooked cartofi prajiti and my mom made lapte de pasare. It was fun to see everyone and learn about their lives. Third, we went to Tucanos, a Brazilian restaurant as a family and both my mom and Jane loved it. Jane discovered that she loves pineapple. :) Fourth, we had fun during the Super Bowl weekend with great American food (ribs, chips, cheese and crackers). It was my mom's and Jane's first Super Bowl and they were both excited to watch the game; especially Jane who took a nap and was really good. Last, but not least, David and I celebrated Valentine's Day at a sushi place in Orem that I loved. The food was excellent and the atmosphere was relaxed and fun. All the great times are a little shadowed by my mom's leaving to Romania in a few days, on the 20th. She's been a wonderful help and we all loved having here here. We got so used to her being here that the apartment will feel really empty when she leaves. Multumim pentru tot mami si sa stii ca o sa ne fie tare dor de tine.

 Romanian Party

Super Bowl

 I love pineapple!

 My 1st Valentine's Day

 Yummy sushi

 I love you!

Good stuff

My Breastfeeding Experience...

... hasn't been too great. Why you might ask? Well, I think it's because I haven't done it right. The lack of experience definitely had something to do with it. Before giving birth to Jane I was sure that I was going to exclusively breastfeed so, as soon as I woke up after she was born they brought her to me and I put her to the breast. I had no idea what I was doing. All I knew was from seeing others do it and from what I read in books or online. The nurse was there with me but she didn't help too much. The next day a lactation consultant came by and showed me a few tricks. She said that Jane was latching on properly so everything was great. Except me. I was in so much pain that I cried every time I put her to the breast. She seemed to be constantly hungry too so I had to feed her constantly but she still didn't seem to be getting enough. I asked a nurse what else I could do to have more colostrum and she said that the milk will eventually come in and then I'll have enough but for now I could supplement with formula. This was the first thing I did wrong. I accepted to supplement. The formula would come through a tube that I had to put in Jane's mouth after she latched on. The pain was excruciating especially when the tube would poke me while she was sucking. When we got home from the hospital I decide to take a short break from breastfeeding. Second mistake. I thought that I would pump and give her that milk with some formula in between if I wasn't pumping enough. Of course that all the formula was done through a plastic nipple. After about a week both my incision and the nipple pain started feeling better but I wasn't making much milk so I thought I'd continue supplementing not realizing that only by Jane sucking I would get more milk. Every time I had let down though the milk came out in a huge gush and Jane always choked with it and cried afterwards especially when after that gush of milk nothing else came out. After about a month of doing both, my milk supply was so low that I thought that I just can't make milk. My Mom said that she never had any milk for any of us so that's probably why I'm not making much. Misconception number 3. I kept on pumping because Jane would get really frustrated when nothing came out, and I also fed her formula. When I tried putting her at the breast again she wouldn't take it. By now she got used to the bottle and didn't like what the breast felt like in her mouth anymore. I tried to force her but she would just scream and refuse to take it. I looked online and asked people what I could do to make more milk and tried to follow all the advise I got that seemed pertinent. I have to confess that I didn't pump as much as I should have even when Jane wasn't crying or my Mom watched her. That would be mistake number 4 and the last one. Currently Jane is 3 months old and mostly formula fed. I rented a hospital-grade breast-pump that I use twice a day to get about 1oz of milk that I call "Jane's daily vitamin". I don't know how long I'll keep this up. I really feel bad and don't want to give breastfeeding up even though she's not really breastfeeding. I'm determined to do things differently next time but for now I'll just work with what I got.

I'm Three Months Old!

Jane, Mom and Grandma Lucy
at Riverwoods on a sunny, warm winter day

Today Jane is three months old. She's grown so much. I can't believe it. She holds her head, smiles a lot and even laughs at times. She follows us with her eyes when we walk around the room, cries when we don't pay attention to her or if she wants us to hold her and always lets us know when she needs a diaper change, some food or sleep. She's such a smart little girl and we love her so much. She only cries when she's uncomfortable or when she is upset with someone. One time she got really upset with me. I tried to nurse her but she absolutely hates how the nipple feels in her mouth so she doesn't nurse at the breast. So, after a good cry she refused to look at me or even take a bottle from me even though she was hungry. My Mom took her and fed her and eventually she fell asleep but even when she woke up she wouldn't look at me.

Jane is pretty drool-y. 
She might start teething soon

Her two months Dr. appointment was good. She weighted 11lb. 12oz and was 24in long. She got her first round of shots and even though she was scared she only cried for a little bit. As soon as I took her in my arms she got better and eventually stopped crying. Later that day though her legs were sore so she cried and was fussy but within a couple of days she was all better.

Three shots in her legs 
and one vaccine through the mouth

This month we also changed her formula a few times. First the doctor told us to give her soy formula to help stop the diarrhea. When that went away we tried regular Similac, which they gave her in the hospital to supplement the breast milk and she started spitting up a lot. We gave her Enfamil and she liked it but after a box of it she started having really bad colic. We gave her Similac Sensitive, what she used to drink before the diarrhea but the colic got worse to the point where she couldn't sleep so we went back to Similac Soy and everything got better. Now that's all she eats and it seems that it's what she needs. She's calm and happy, only a little gassy and is gaining weight all the time. I can see that she's already gotten bigger and taller than four weeks ago. We're proud of our little vegetarian baby! :)
One thing that Jane hates with a passion is tummy time. She would not do it without a cry that eventually turns into loud screams. When we put her on her tummy she lifts her head but she hasn't figured out that she can use both of her arms to pull herself up. She uses her left arm but holds the right one straight and tight by her body and pushes her bum up with her legs while screaming. It's funny to see her but it's also a little sad cause she gets so unhappy. She likes doing stretches and exercises with her legs and arms though and she kicks her legs and moves her arms a lot when left on her back.
She loves watching "Myth Busters". She would sit with David and watch on the TV or on the iPod. I don't know why she likes that show or how much she understands but she seems to really enjoy it. We don't let her watch much though. I believe that babies shouldn't watch any television until they're two and after that only watch about an hour or less a day, so we try to be good about it.

Watching 'Myth Busters' on the iPod with Daddy

So, Jane is growing beautifully and is a very good baby and we feel so blessed to have her. She makes us happy and we just can't imagine our life without her.

Another month in our lives

Another month has passed since my last update and many things have happened.

Our Jane is two months old!

Where does time go? It's true that this second month felt longer than the first but seeing Jane grow and be happy makes even the hard times worth it. Jane is already grown bigger, she holds her head up almost all the time and likes to stand up when you put her little feet on a firm surface. It also looks like her eyes are going to be blue, like her dad's which makes me happy since I really wanted a blue-eyed baby. :) She is just as good at sleeping at night. She does go to bed around 1:00 AM but then only wakes up once or twice to feed and goes right back to sleep until pretty late in the morning. I love it! She had a few nights when she cried and fussed and also had some colic for a couple of weeks but it seems that she is better now. She actually likes to fall asleep in bed rather than in someone's arms which is great. The only thing that made this second month a little worrisome is that beginning January 1st Jane started having pretty bad diarrhea. We went to the ER twice and only found out that she needs to pretty much overcome it on her own. We gave her rice water and soy formula and it seems that her diarrhea is getting better but is not completely gone even now, over a week since it started. We're still waiting for the results of her labs to see if it's the rotavirus or something else. Speaking of labs, it was so sad to see her scream as three men were holding her little body and head down to extract some stuff from her nose. I felt sick and started crying when I saw it. Let's hope that she won't have to go through awful things like that often in her life. On the 13th we'll have her two months appointment and she'll probably get her first round of shots, which I'm not looking forward to, but at least these are things that happen to all babies and will benefit her in the long run.

What makes me happy and helps me forget all sad things though is when Jane smiles at me. Her face lights up and she looks at me with her big blue eyes. I give anything to see that smile and feel her little hands and arms reach for me and grab me tight. There's no better feeling in the world.
Ruth & Eric's Wedding Luncheon

My friend Ruth got married on December 18, 2010 in Salt Lake. I was so happy to attend the luncheon held in their honor and to see her and her husband Eric and also Amy Ruesch. Ruth and I were companions in Timisoara during my LDS 6 weeks long mini-mission. We had a great time together and kept in touch after Ruth came back home to Utah and I came to BYU.

Christmas

Our Christmas Eve was fun as we opened tons of gifts, ate gingerbread cookies and drank hot chocolate. Thank you Mom for being here and making our Christmas wonderful. We probably wouldn't have had many gifts if it wasn't for her to get us a few things that we needed and some that we wanted. She got us a big Christmas tree, a vacuum cleaner and a crock-pot among other smaller things, for David she got a nice shirt, a hoodie, heads for our electric toothbrush and razor blades and, for me she got a Singer sawing machine which I'm really happy about, a pair of black pants, a shirt and a fluffy house robe. Jane got tons of clothes and toys and she also got a nice Christmas tree ornament from her mommy which she likes very much, even if in the picture it doesn't look like it. :)

From David I got a couple of crock-pot recipe books and a baby remembrance book and I got him a Wii game console and the Super Mario Galaxy game. Mom received three shirts, a pair of dressy black pants and a pair of jeans. We were all very happy with our gifts. :)

We spent Christmas day at the condo with David's family who came from Japan and Grandma and Grandpa Barlow who came from California. It was the first time that we had his entire family here for Christmas and it was a lot of fun.

We all opened gifts, had the traditional Johansen breakfast consisting of eggs, pinwheels with mince meat, sausage and OJ, played Christmas pictionary and had a traditional Romanian dinner savoring the delicious sarmale that my Mom made. Everyone loved them! :)

Jane's Blessing

The Sunday after Christmas (the 26th) we had Jane's blessing at church. Her grandma Jo made her a beautiful white satin gown for the occasion and she looked like a little angel in it. The blessing David pronounced was very special and beautiful and as he lifted her up for everyone to see, I was overwhelmed with emotion and my eyes and David's filled with tears of joy and gratitude for this beautiful baby that we are so blessed to have. We had a little get together after the blessing at our apartment, where we took pictures, had some more sarmale and had fun with family and friends. Eni, Aric and their kids came as well as Carl, Carina and Liam, and Eve, Shawn and Gabi. We had a great time together.

New Year's Eve

We spent New Year's Eve at home as a family and on New Year's day we had piftie, friptura and salata de boeuf. Yummy!

I wish David and Jane had enjoyed the celebration a little more. Why I say that? Well, as I mentioned before, Jane started having diarrhea that day while David got a nasty cold and his 19 year old cousin Richie passed away in the hospital. Not the New Year's day we expected but this too passed.

Romanian girls get-together at Lia's

On the first Monday evening of the New Year we went over at Lia's in Pleasant Grove and had tons of fun cooking supa cu galusti and playing cards. We laughed and felt good and forgot of all problems. In fact we had such a good time that we decided to make it a regular date, twice a month; so next get-together will be at my apartment and we're already looking forward to it.

Christmas Newsletter - 2010

2010 - What a year!

Here's an update on our little family and what we've been up to this year.

David and Dahlee

- We found out in March that we were expecting our first baby. The pregnancy went very well and without complications and on November 5th Jane Christina was born to us. She is a beautiful healthy baby and brings us a lot of happiness and hope.

David

- David's been trying to find a full-time salary position this year but without success. He continues to look for employment as a technology instructor and if anyone hears of some opportunities, please let us know, no matter where it is

- Borders Bookstore decided to keep him as a part-time employee after he worked for them for the holidays last year

- After a fairly long hiring process, Simply Mac, a Mac Computers retail store hired David. He's a very successful teacher for them and also sells their products

Dahlee

- Dahlee worked for McDonalds for a few months at the beginning of the year, until her pregnancy prevented her from smelling anything fried or greasy :)

- Being pregnant with Jane was a wonderful adventure and I enjoyed every bit of it. We had very little problems and when the time came I delivered Jane through cesarean section. Recovery is going well and I'm already contemplating the idea of having a new baby. It won't be for a while though... :)

Jane Christina

- She is a very good baby who sleeps well at night and likes to eat and play

- She is also very beautiful, loves to cuddle and sleep with mommy

We had many hard times and disappointments this year but we are thankful to have each other. Our love helps us through the rough times. We are thankful for the work that David has, for the help that my Mom's given us since she came in October, for the support of David's family and for many wonderful friends who stood by us no matter what. We are hopeful for the new year and plan on being strong and happy together as a family and to keep in touch with our friends.

Merry Christmas and a Wonderful 2011!

Jane is One Month Old!

I can't believe it. Jane is one month old already. It's been a pretty easy first month. We spent much time together getting to know each other. I can pretty much tell every time what Jane wants. It's pretty neat and interesting how such a small baby can communicate exactly what she needs and wants even though she can't talk and doesn't even hold her head up all the time. Speaking of holding her head, the first time she lifted it up by herself was when she was 5 days old. I had her on her tummy, propped up on my leg and she pretty much lifted herself a couple of times. It was so cool. Ch also started smiling around 3 weeks and now, at 4 weeks she smiles even more. We can't get her to smile but she does it when she feels like it.

We had our two week appointment and found out that Jane weighted 10 lbs (90 percentile) at the time and was 21 1/4 in long (95 percentile). I'm sure she's grown more since then. She is also healthy and progresses well.

We had some trouble with breastfeeding. At first I breastfed her exclusively but I was making very little milk so the nurses advised me to supplement with formula. We started her on Similac and she didn't fuss from hunger anymore but started spitting up more. We tried Similac with soy but that one smelled bad and gave her a lot of gas then finally decided on Similac Sensitive which seems to sit a little better with her. As I was hurting pretty bad, I started pumping and feeding her breast milk in the mean time and my supply increased a little but not a lot. After not giving her the breast for a while she didn't seem happy when we started that again but we're working on getting used to it again. It's just a little uncomfortable for her when the milk lets down and a gush of it fills her mouth. She chokes every time and starts crying. Sleeping's been really good the first month. She'd sleep about 4 hours straight every night and then she'd wake up to eat and be changed and would fall asleep for a few hours more. That changed recently. She sleeps in the evenings and nothing seems to wake her up but then she wakes up around 10pm and doesn't fall asleep until 1 or 2 in the morning. Then she sleeps for 2 to 4 hours after which she wakes up on and off all morning until around 2pm. We're trying to get her on a better schedule.

Her first bath (sponge bath) was pretty nice. She didn't cry much. She didn't cry when we gave her the first real bath either but taking her out of the water scared her, especially when she got cold, and that really made her cry. She doesn't mind the bath, just the after-bath experience.

My feelings had been a roller coaster this first month. In the beginning when I saw that I wasn't able to nurse her well I was really disappointed and felt like I wasn't a good enough mother for my little baby. When she didn't want to take the breast anymore after not eating that way for a couple of weeks I felt rejected and like I wasn't needed anymore. Those feelings went away as they came but it's interesting how many different feelings a new mom can experience. The feeling of being lonely and as if something was missing was something else I went through in the beginning as well. I realized that I missed my belly, feeling Jane inside me and having her with me all the time. I cried the first couple of times I left her with my mom or David at home. I knew that she was going to be ok but I had a really hard time leaving her. I still miss her a lot when I go somewhere without her and it feels so good when I come back and hold her and smell her. I love her sweet baby smell, I love staring at her tiny face and I could do it for hours, I love holding her small, light body in my arms, feeding her, playing with her, listening to her quiet sounds, kissing her chubby cheeks and her cute feet and I love it when she grabs me tight with her little hands or when she "kisses" me when she's hungry and looks for food everywhere. I just love Jane and am oh so happy to have her in my life.

Welcome into our lives, Jane Christina Johansen!

So, I did it! Jane is here! Woo hoo! I was getting close after all! :)

I've been thinking about writing this post for a couple of weeks but I just couldn't get myself to do it until now. Life is so different. All I want to do is be with Jane. I'll write Jane's birth story though because I feel that it's important and because I hope to be able to remember this experience over the years. So, here it goes.

It all really started on her due date, the 3rd of November. My mom and I went for a walk and ate something at Burger King. The whole day I'd been loosing my mucous plug and at night my constipation went away which felt pretty good. I'd read that these were signs that labor might be close but I wasn't really feeling much different than other days. Anyway, on the 4th we went to the clinic for my 40weeks appointment. We get there and the nurse hooks me up to some machine. I had no idea what she was doing but as I was lying there I started feeling pain in my belly and back. I asked the doctor if the machine was causing that pain but he said that it only measured baby's heartbeat and the amount of amniotic fluid. The pain got pretty bad making me want to sit up. Lying on my back wasn't comfortable at all. So, he checked the amount of amniotic fluid and said that it's a little low. I told him that since earlier that morning I'd been losing some sort of greenish fluid. He then checked for dilation and told me that I was a 2 but that didn't mean that I was in labor necessarily. When I got up after the exam there was more fluid coming out. The doctor checked to see if it was amniotic fluid and said that it probably was and that I should go to the hospital right away. We went to the hospital and they hooked me up to the same type of machine and checked if I was leaking amniotic fluid. After being there a little over an hour the nurse decided that what I was leaking wasn't amniotic fluid and that i should come back if I was leaking amniotic fluid, if I was having contractions or if I was bleeding. Both David and I were disappointed and a little upset that this wasn't it. I was pretty sure that what I was leaking was amniotic fluid but I couldn't be sure. So, we went to Costco and walked around to release some of the stress. I had to stop periodically as I was having a crampy type of pain that came and went. David started timing the pain that turned out to be labor contractions and and they were about 8 minutes apart with a few that didn't follow the pattern. We went home eventually and David left for work at Borders. Since I wasn't feeling too good I decided to take a nap and just take it easy for the rest of the evening. The contractions went away so I was able to rest pretty good. Soon after David came home, around 11:30PM the contractions returned and with them a gush of fluid came out. I was pretty sure that I must be in active labor or at least that my waters broke. We went to the hospital and was admitted right away. It was so funny when we arrived to the hospital and the security guard just pointed towards the elevator that we needed to take to go to Labor and Delivery without asking us anything. When we got there there was another couple who as being checked in. I was definitely in more pain than the other girl but she was leaking more and was wrapped up in a towel. I was checked in before her and was lead to a room where the nurse confirmed that my waters broke and I could stay. She hooked me up to a machine that registered the contractions and baby's heartbeat and asked me if I wanted the epidural. I first said no but after about half an hour I asked for it and the anesthesiologist came and gave it to me. It didn't really hurt much, just the shot he first gave me to numb up the spot where he introduced the catheter. The contractions hurt much more so I was relieved when I felt something warm going down towards my legs and taking the pain away with it. My left side numbed up pretty quickly but I had to turn on my right for the epidural to work on that side too. It did work in a few minutes and I was even able to sleep for a couple of hours. When the nurse checked me again I was still at 3 cm so she gave me pitocin which worked like a charm and by around 9 in the morning I was dilated to a 10. Everything seemed to be working well except for the epidural. I kept pushing that button to get more and also kept turning from side to side but after a while it worked only partially so I was able to feel most of the contractions. My back was hurting really bad and the contractions got so strong to the point where I started crying and throwing up. My body was also shaking uncontrollably so the nurse decided without asking the doctor to just have me start pushing (the doctor wanted me to wait another hour after I was fully dilated to make things easier). I felt a bit of relief when I started pushing but within a few minutes the pain got really strong again. All this time the anesthesiologist (this time a cute and happy guy from India) kept coming to give me more anesthetic and I was also pushing the button to get more of it into my body. My legs were really numb and my right side was numb to the point where I could feel a little pain but nothing unbearable. It was the left side that really hurt and especially my back. With the help of David, my sister in law Charity and the nurse I kept pushing through the contractions for a little over two hours but when Dr. Bench checked me the baby was still at stage 0, meaning she didn't descend at all. The doctor went and consulted with another doctor about what would be the best thing to do. When he came back I was crying and throwing up again and he told me that the best option would be to have a C-section since both myself and the baby were really tired and stressed and it didn't seemthat the baby was able to descend even if I kept pushing longer. As the doctor was talking I interrupted him and told him that I agree with the C-section and that we should do it as soon as possible, which turned out to be in about an hour. They gave me some really strong anesthetic that numbed me up from the chest down and took me to the Operating Room. David came with me, dressed in a funny suit and Charity stayed and waited in the labor room. The OR was really cold, which didn't help my already shivering body, but the nurses brought me a nice, warm blanket and put a tube with warm air to blow on me. As I watched the doctors get ready I kind of started to freak out because I could tell that I wasn't numbed up well enough. The anesthesiologist came and talked to me about what I was feeling then he asked me if I was ready for the operation to begin to which I answered a very categoric "NO" because I was afraid that I would feel pain. Both him and David smiled and told me than that the doctors were already cutting me open and obviously I wasn't feeling any pain. :) Not very long after, David announced that the doctors were getting really close to getting the baby out. My eyes filled with tears of excitement and anticipation. I'd forgotten about all the pain and troubles I've gone through an all I felt was happiness and strong emotions. The anesthesiologist pulled down the curtain that was separating me from the doctors and I saw dr. Bench pull Jane out of my belly. As she was coming out she started crying and I started crying with her. It was 1:08PM when she was born and she weighed 9lb 7oz and was 20 in long. The nurses took her away for a little bit to check her, and David went with them but returned soon holding Jane in his arms. She was so tiny. Her hair was really dark and her skin was red and very soft. I couldn't help but cry more as I kissed her gently on her forehead. David had to take her away again and I was left with the doctors to finish up the operation. As they were working on me I started feeling real pain this time and the anesthesiologist gave me a couple more shots that pretty much knocked me out. I could hear everyone talk and I knew that they were moving me and even talking to me but it was all like a dream. I woke up around 3PM in a different room. A couple of nurses were there as well as Charity, cousin Sara and my sweet David. Later that day my Mom came to visit, as well as Chris and his wife Miriam, Eni and Lia, and Carl and Karina. The nurses brought Jane to me and I fed her then for the first time. I couldn't believe how small and beautiful she was. I felt really happy, which happiness hasn't left me yet and I know that will linger on for a really long time.

As I look back on this experience and on the feelings I had while it happened I cannot but be amazed of the intensity of the emotions I went through. As the contractions started I became impatient and happy that we were getting really close. After being accepted into the hospital I was happy that now labor was really happening and that Jane was going to be with us soon. After the epidural stopped working properly I became anxious that this was going to be a really long process and that I will not be able to do it and finish the job. When I got to the pushing part I tried really hard to get Jane out. I wanted her out but what I was feeling was really weird. I felt like I didn't want her anymore. This feeling scared me. I knew that I did everything in my power to get her out but it just wasn't going to work out the way we planned. And her being inside my body was causing me so much pain and discomfort that I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. It was almost like it was her fault that I was going through all this. I felt better when we decided to have the C-section and as Dr. Bench took Jane out all I could feel was happiness. I'd forgotten about the pain and I just wanted to hold my baby and love her. David experienced a bunch of different emotions as well. I was so happy to see him excited about holding Jane soon but seeing him cry because I was in pain warmed my heart and deepened my love for him.

Back to the story, we were discharged from the hospital on Monday, the 8th. More feelings came over me as we arrived home and I watched Jane lie on our bed. I just wanted to cry and couldn't believe that she was there with us. It was a cry of happiness. I am so thankful for having Jane in our lives. She is a little ray of sunshine and happiness. I love holding her and watching David feed her, play with her, change her diaper and just be happy to have her. I would never go back to not having Jane and I'm just so overwhelmed with gratitude and love. I love you so much my sweet little angel!

Hmmm..... Getting close?

I'll kind of use this post as a diary and record the symptoms that I'm having during these last days of my pregnancy. I only have 8 days until due date so I don't know when Jane will show up but I'll try to keep this post updated as the days go on. Hopefully it won't be a very long post :)

So, on Oct 23 I was talking on the phone with my mom telling her how I have absolutely no symptoms that Jane might be born any time soon. While I was saying that I started feeling my belly get hard and I had mild cramps in my lower belly and back. After walking around, eating and drinking some water they went away and I was fine. The next day I got really upset about something and soon after I started feeling more intense cramping. It lasted for a few hours and walking didn't really calm these down. It helped a bit when I sat down and used the restroom. Eventually they went away only to return about an hour later. Using the restroom helped once again and I was able to sleep through the night without any problem. The next morning I got pretty sharp pain in my lower belly while I was sitting in the car but felt better when I got out. The cramps returned again after I had breakfast and lasted for a few hours but went away once again after I had some soup for lunch. Had a few mild cramps throughout the rest of the day and evening but nothing too intense. Through all this Jane hasn't been kicking too much but whenever she moves and her head and shoulders press against my lower belly it hurts pretty bad and I feel pressure everywhere down there.

We might be getting close I guess... We'll see what happens tomorrow...

Well, I'm back. A few more days have passed and no cramps any more. It was too good to be true I guess... :) I'm getting increasingly more uncomfortable with hip joint and tailbone pain and other pains along the sides of the belly. My skin itches sometimes too. The doctor said that I measure 42 cm and that Jane's heart beat is good and strong, so we're both ok. The heartburn is still terrible and I get some back aches when I sit or stand. One thing I started noticing is that I'm getting hungry every 3 to 4 hours. I'm not excited about that especially since I gained almost 20 lbs so far but I get really lightheaded if I don't eat when I need to. Weird... It's like the second trimester all over again :0 I've been walking like a mad woman sometimes for three or four hours and I think it helped some with the progress because after I walk for a while I start getting sharp pains in my pelvis that make me stop and sometimes sit for a little bit. Of course they only come and go for a while and then go away again but maybe she's descended lower now and that's what I'm feeling. Anyway, I got 4 days till due date after which the doctor said that he'll only wait another week and then induce me if I want to. We'll see what'll happen in the next few days.

I'm back. We just turned 40 weeks today so it's Nov 3rd, the estimated due date. Before yesterday I didn't really feel anything different; just lower belly pressure. Yesterday and especially today though I've been having cramps that come and go and a really weird gooey, dark yellow discharge (sorry, I know that's gross). My tummy also hurts as if I'm having a bit of indigestion and gas. I'm hoping that this combination means that I'm actually starting to dilate and that maybe I'm loosing the mucous plug. I have an appointment tomorrow and the doctor will actually check for dilation. I'm excited and feel that I'm getting closer now. Of course, I'm also feeling a little scared and anxious but knowing that I will hold Jane in my arms soon makes me happy and impatient.