Changes, struggles, togetherness, life...

Well,we've had an ok year so far and I kind of forgot to be depressed. It's not that I enjoy it but last year we had so much depressing stuff going on that I had a hard time staying positive.
It's now almost the end of November and life's turned a bit on the depressing side again... We were going to move to NYC for David's school in August but they asked us to postpone it until December. Borders closed down and David lost his job there, so we moved from our apartment in Springville to David's parents' condo in Midway. We're very thankful for their help but it's still not the same as having our own place and with the snow coming in a lot more up here, winter would be really hard and unpredictable with David not being able to always make it to work or back home after work.
Anyway, at the begining of November David's school told us that his program is entirely online now and we don't have to move anymore. That was good news cause it would cost a lot less for his school and we wouldn't have to move during winter, with a young child and me pregnant. The downside is that we stopped looking for more reiable and better paying jobs since we thought we'd be leaving so now, we dont have many, if any options concerning where we'd be staying and if we could even afford the doctor visits for me and Jane. Heaven forbid any emergencies! Last week one of my fillings fell out and it was awful. We used a credit card to pay to have a new filling put in but it only proved how unprepared and poor we are in case of any unexpected expense and even in the case of expected ones. We looked at apartments and any two bedroom apartment, even the crappy ones, cost around $600/month plus utilities if you're lucky to find a deal. Even though David got a promotion a couple of months ago at Simply Mac, we still can't afford a decent enough place. We want to move before the bad snow comes in, before I get even bigger and definitely before Alyss is born but while I'm being optimistic and try to budget so that we might be able to make it work, David reminds me how we might not have enough money for food and definitely no money for any, even small emergency. I don't want to put our family in a situation where we woud have to be kicked out of an apartment and I definitely feel that since I don't work I shouldn't be the one deciding on our future. But I want to be positive and have faith that things WILL work out soMehow for us. David has a couple of job interviews lined up and the apartment we found is small and nothing even close to modern but clean and in a good neighborhood. It's close to David's work, so the weather won't be a problem, and it's close to grocery stores so I could shop for dinner if I need to and I won't feel secluded, like in Midway, away from even a road where Jane and I could go for walks.
So, I really don't like being in this situation again, where we don't know what will happen to us and if we can take care of ourselves. It is depressing when the afordable housing apartment gives you a limit for your income, where we'd be makjng too much to stay there, and you don't even make half that limit. We are happy to be together, to have Jane and to be expecting another bundle of joy in less than three months but given these circumstances, we feel that we want to be able to provide for our babies and at least give them the bare necessities a baby is in need of. We hope that things will work out soon and that we will make the best decisions for the future.

Bebe 2 Ultrasound Pictures

Ultrasound 1 at 13 Weeks 2 Days

On her tummy, bent legs - 13 Weeks

On her tummy, straight legs 

On her back - she moved a lot :)

Lifted her head

Ultrasound 2 at 24 Weeks 

Her face and tummy 

Her arm 

Her little heart

Her leg

She turned on the other side - her head and body again

Face detail - her lips 

Her hand

Your Day to Remember

My dear Jane, what a beautiful birthday you had! Here's your day in detail, for you and us to remember.
After a pretty rough night, where you woke up screaming and really scared me, you and I got to sleep in and woke up close to 12 noon! Since Daddy was at work, the house was very quiet and, since we were both tired, we just kept on sleeping. It felt pretty good :) Well, after we got up we had to go pick up your cake and a few more things for your birthday party. When we walked upstairs you were so surprised by the decorations that Mommy and Daddy put up the night before! You kept on smiling and looking excitedly everywhere around the living room. You were so much fun to watch. It made me happy to see you so excited.

Table decor

Decorations

Watching the decorations

So, to continue, we went to the store for a couple of hours and when we got back Mommy put everything away while you kept crawling into the fridge and dishwasher. :) Since after we finished the last preparations we only had a few minutes until people were going to start showing up, I gave you a quick bath, I took a quick shower and then we got dressed. Just then, Lia, Eni, bunica Palade and the kids (Aren, Lizzy, Bianca and Nadia) showed up. You were taken by surprise by the noise and started crying but very soon you got excited to see everyone. Not long after your Dad came home from work and helped me set the table. For food we had pasta salad, your Dad's specialty, chicken strips, chips and french fries and for drinks we had different kinds of soda. Everyone liked the food and the soda. Not long after we started eating, Eve showed up. We all had a great time together. The kids watched Cars 2 and us, grown-ups talked and enjoyed each other's company.

Yummy food

After dinner we lit the number 1 candle on your Baby Pooh and Tigger cake and sang Happy Birthday and Multi Ani Traiasca. It was fun especially afterwards, when you had a cake just for yourself. You got pretty messy with cream but had a great time. After Daddy gave you a bath to clean you up, we opened all the cool gifts that you received from your grandparents, all our friends and of course from me and Daddy. You got a lot of cute clothes, books and a couple of toys and Mommy got you a little Precious Moments porcelain statue for you to collect.

Everyone singing Happy birthday and Multi any traiasca

Family picture

You enjoyed your special cake

Opening presents

Later, when everyone was getting ready to leave, Carl, Karina and Liam came by to congratulate you. You had fun playing with Liam and opening the gift from them.

Playing with Liam

Karina and Eni talking about pregnancy

All in all, this day was a bit tiring but so beautiful. You are one year older and such a joy to be around. We love you so much and hope that you'll have much happiness in your life.

All the girls at the party

Our Sweet Pea, Jane is one!!!!!

Jane's Beautiful Birthday Cake

Yeah, that's right Jane! You're one year old today and such a joy to us. I can't believe that last year, today I first held you in my arms and nursed you and looked into your pretty face with tears in my eyes. Jane, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. You make me happy every day. Every time we see your bright, beautiful smile we forget about all our problems. Did you know that there are a lot of people out there who stop us to just tell us how beautiful you are and how cute your smile is? It's true and it always makes us happy and proud. You are a wonderful little girl.

You love to crawl around and to walk while holding our hand. You love to talk to us and play with us. You love to be held close and fall asleep next to mommy. You love stuffed animals. A few weeks ago, when we went to Disneyland you got so excited when we found the stuffed animals in the baby section. You also liked the carousels. It was so much fun to see you so happy and excited. Another thing you love is music. You dance and smile real big when almost any kind of music starts playing.

Oh, and guess what you do when people say "bye, bye" or "pa, pa" to you? You wave back!!! You also clap your hands when you hear someone clap or when Mommy says "bravo" and when Mommy asks you "cum face pisica?" you meow in a really cute way. You still only say Mom and Dad or a combination thereof but just recently you started saying "ahdough. Don't know what that means but it sounds like you say "alo" especially since you say the word when mommy says "alo". Anyway, you are way cute and smart and can't wait for you to start walking and talking!

For your birthday, mommy and daddy prepared a cute birthday party. I'm sure you'll like all the gifts you get, the decorations and the Tigger and Pooh cake. Mommy will take lots of pictures for you and us to remember this precious event in your life.

We love you Jane! I will always be thankful for having such a good, beautiful and smart baby girl. I want you to know that we'll always be here for you and you'll always find a friend in us. Happy birthday Janeytsa!!!!

Mommy, Daddy and Baby
We're a happy family!

Bebe 2 is a GIRL!!!

Not much has happened since I last wrote. Pretty much me having a great time with Jane and David working hard for us. I had a couple of visits with a midwife in Park City and she told me that bebe is doing well and advised me on better nutrition and hydration. We then had an ultrasound that was a complete 10 minute fiasco and left me in tears and wondering why some people practice medicine. Then, last week we met with Dr. Taylor, a great family doctor at the Heber hospital and he was very encouraging and told me that everything seems just fine and that we could have a complete, head-to-toe ultrasound of the baby. My stats at the last visit, at 23 weeks were: blood pressure: 110/80, good urine, 168lbs and 25cm belly and bebe's heartbeat: 140bpm. He also said that if he gets to perform the C-section he'll make sure that he'll remove as much of the scar tissue as possible and try to give me a nicer looking scar :)
On Nov 1st we had a very nice and detailed ultrasound and the tech seemed happy with what she saw. She gave us a few pics and told us everything she was doing. All organs seemed to be okay, heartbeat 143bpm, two legs and two arms and a cute, active and healthy baby GIRL. We are so excited to give Jane a baby sister and really hope that they'll be best friends. She is very active and I feel her more every day, and night :) Our due date is still February 20th. She measures about 23 weeks at 24, which I'm okay with and gives me a little hope that she'll be smaller than Jane at birth and might allow me to even deliver vaginally. I'm still thinking about it and I'd love not to have to go through major surgery again. We'll do what's necessary, of course but I'm sure I'd recover faster from a vaginal birth and I'd be able to enjoy the postpartum days and weeks even more. Whatever the case, we're VERY happy and excited for our baby girls and can't wait to meet bebita 2 and to have our two girls together in our arms. We love you baby girls A LOT :)!!!

Bebe 2 - Cute Little Face