Four Months Already

Jane is four months old and she just had her well-child appointment. She was so good, even when the nurse gave her the two shots in her legs and one vaccine in her mouth. She didn't even cry for the first shot and the nurse was impressed that she swallowed the vaccine, unlike other babes who just spit it out. Good girl, Jane!
For her stats: Jane is now 14lb 7oz and 24.5in long - big girl
Her doctor was happy with her and congratulated us as parents for doing 'everything right'. Hooray for us!
So, what is Jane doing new this month? Well, lots of cute things! She smiles all the time, looks all around the room to find her mommy and daddy, makes lots of cute noises, sucks on her fist and drools all the time getting her bibs and clothes all wet :) sits in her Bumbo seat all by herself and loves it, reaches for toys that are not in front of her when she lyes on her gym mat, sleeps all night (goes to bed around 10PM and only cries in her sleep a couple of times through the night for some milk and doesn't wake up until 8 or 9AM) eats organic oats cereal with milk and even some yummy green beans after the doctor okey-ed it and she even laughs when something is funny, like looking at mommy's face from above or when mommy and daddy tickle or zerbert her. She is such a happy and alert little girl and we love her A LOT.

Ready to eat!

First time eating organic oats cereal

All messy

My favorite toy-blankey

Reaching for toys 

Only two shots this time!

Plastic bib this time!

First time eating green beans. Pretty tasty!

Jane is One Month Old!

I can't believe it. Jane is one month old already. It's been a pretty easy first month. We spent much time together getting to know each other. I can pretty much tell every time what Jane wants. It's pretty neat and interesting how such a small baby can communicate exactly what she needs and wants even though she can't talk and doesn't even hold her head up all the time. Speaking of holding her head, the first time she lifted it up by herself was when she was 5 days old. I had her on her tummy, propped up on my leg and she pretty much lifted herself a couple of times. It was so cool. Ch also started smiling around 3 weeks and now, at 4 weeks she smiles even more. We can't get her to smile but she does it when she feels like it.

We had our two week appointment and found out that Jane weighted 10 lbs (90 percentile) at the time and was 21 1/4 in long (95 percentile). I'm sure she's grown more since then. She is also healthy and progresses well.

We had some trouble with breastfeeding. At first I breastfed her exclusively but I was making very little milk so the nurses advised me to supplement with formula. We started her on Similac and she didn't fuss from hunger anymore but started spitting up more. We tried Similac with soy but that one smelled bad and gave her a lot of gas then finally decided on Similac Sensitive which seems to sit a little better with her. As I was hurting pretty bad, I started pumping and feeding her breast milk in the mean time and my supply increased a little but not a lot. After not giving her the breast for a while she didn't seem happy when we started that again but we're working on getting used to it again. It's just a little uncomfortable for her when the milk lets down and a gush of it fills her mouth. She chokes every time and starts crying. Sleeping's been really good the first month. She'd sleep about 4 hours straight every night and then she'd wake up to eat and be changed and would fall asleep for a few hours more. That changed recently. She sleeps in the evenings and nothing seems to wake her up but then she wakes up around 10pm and doesn't fall asleep until 1 or 2 in the morning. Then she sleeps for 2 to 4 hours after which she wakes up on and off all morning until around 2pm. We're trying to get her on a better schedule.

Her first bath (sponge bath) was pretty nice. She didn't cry much. She didn't cry when we gave her the first real bath either but taking her out of the water scared her, especially when she got cold, and that really made her cry. She doesn't mind the bath, just the after-bath experience.

My feelings had been a roller coaster this first month. In the beginning when I saw that I wasn't able to nurse her well I was really disappointed and felt like I wasn't a good enough mother for my little baby. When she didn't want to take the breast anymore after not eating that way for a couple of weeks I felt rejected and like I wasn't needed anymore. Those feelings went away as they came but it's interesting how many different feelings a new mom can experience. The feeling of being lonely and as if something was missing was something else I went through in the beginning as well. I realized that I missed my belly, feeling Jane inside me and having her with me all the time. I cried the first couple of times I left her with my mom or David at home. I knew that she was going to be ok but I had a really hard time leaving her. I still miss her a lot when I go somewhere without her and it feels so good when I come back and hold her and smell her. I love her sweet baby smell, I love staring at her tiny face and I could do it for hours, I love holding her small, light body in my arms, feeding her, playing with her, listening to her quiet sounds, kissing her chubby cheeks and her cute feet and I love it when she grabs me tight with her little hands or when she "kisses" me when she's hungry and looks for food everywhere. I just love Jane and am oh so happy to have her in my life.

Welcome into our lives, Jane Christina Johansen!

So, I did it! Jane is here! Woo hoo! I was getting close after all! :)

I've been thinking about writing this post for a couple of weeks but I just couldn't get myself to do it until now. Life is so different. All I want to do is be with Jane. I'll write Jane's birth story though because I feel that it's important and because I hope to be able to remember this experience over the years. So, here it goes.

It all really started on her due date, the 3rd of November. My mom and I went for a walk and ate something at Burger King. The whole day I'd been loosing my mucous plug and at night my constipation went away which felt pretty good. I'd read that these were signs that labor might be close but I wasn't really feeling much different than other days. Anyway, on the 4th we went to the clinic for my 40weeks appointment. We get there and the nurse hooks me up to some machine. I had no idea what she was doing but as I was lying there I started feeling pain in my belly and back. I asked the doctor if the machine was causing that pain but he said that it only measured baby's heartbeat and the amount of amniotic fluid. The pain got pretty bad making me want to sit up. Lying on my back wasn't comfortable at all. So, he checked the amount of amniotic fluid and said that it's a little low. I told him that since earlier that morning I'd been losing some sort of greenish fluid. He then checked for dilation and told me that I was a 2 but that didn't mean that I was in labor necessarily. When I got up after the exam there was more fluid coming out. The doctor checked to see if it was amniotic fluid and said that it probably was and that I should go to the hospital right away. We went to the hospital and they hooked me up to the same type of machine and checked if I was leaking amniotic fluid. After being there a little over an hour the nurse decided that what I was leaking wasn't amniotic fluid and that i should come back if I was leaking amniotic fluid, if I was having contractions or if I was bleeding. Both David and I were disappointed and a little upset that this wasn't it. I was pretty sure that what I was leaking was amniotic fluid but I couldn't be sure. So, we went to Costco and walked around to release some of the stress. I had to stop periodically as I was having a crampy type of pain that came and went. David started timing the pain that turned out to be labor contractions and and they were about 8 minutes apart with a few that didn't follow the pattern. We went home eventually and David left for work at Borders. Since I wasn't feeling too good I decided to take a nap and just take it easy for the rest of the evening. The contractions went away so I was able to rest pretty good. Soon after David came home, around 11:30PM the contractions returned and with them a gush of fluid came out. I was pretty sure that I must be in active labor or at least that my waters broke. We went to the hospital and was admitted right away. It was so funny when we arrived to the hospital and the security guard just pointed towards the elevator that we needed to take to go to Labor and Delivery without asking us anything. When we got there there was another couple who as being checked in. I was definitely in more pain than the other girl but she was leaking more and was wrapped up in a towel. I was checked in before her and was lead to a room where the nurse confirmed that my waters broke and I could stay. She hooked me up to a machine that registered the contractions and baby's heartbeat and asked me if I wanted the epidural. I first said no but after about half an hour I asked for it and the anesthesiologist came and gave it to me. It didn't really hurt much, just the shot he first gave me to numb up the spot where he introduced the catheter. The contractions hurt much more so I was relieved when I felt something warm going down towards my legs and taking the pain away with it. My left side numbed up pretty quickly but I had to turn on my right for the epidural to work on that side too. It did work in a few minutes and I was even able to sleep for a couple of hours. When the nurse checked me again I was still at 3 cm so she gave me pitocin which worked like a charm and by around 9 in the morning I was dilated to a 10. Everything seemed to be working well except for the epidural. I kept pushing that button to get more and also kept turning from side to side but after a while it worked only partially so I was able to feel most of the contractions. My back was hurting really bad and the contractions got so strong to the point where I started crying and throwing up. My body was also shaking uncontrollably so the nurse decided without asking the doctor to just have me start pushing (the doctor wanted me to wait another hour after I was fully dilated to make things easier). I felt a bit of relief when I started pushing but within a few minutes the pain got really strong again. All this time the anesthesiologist (this time a cute and happy guy from India) kept coming to give me more anesthetic and I was also pushing the button to get more of it into my body. My legs were really numb and my right side was numb to the point where I could feel a little pain but nothing unbearable. It was the left side that really hurt and especially my back. With the help of David, my sister in law Charity and the nurse I kept pushing through the contractions for a little over two hours but when Dr. Bench checked me the baby was still at stage 0, meaning she didn't descend at all. The doctor went and consulted with another doctor about what would be the best thing to do. When he came back I was crying and throwing up again and he told me that the best option would be to have a C-section since both myself and the baby were really tired and stressed and it didn't seemthat the baby was able to descend even if I kept pushing longer. As the doctor was talking I interrupted him and told him that I agree with the C-section and that we should do it as soon as possible, which turned out to be in about an hour. They gave me some really strong anesthetic that numbed me up from the chest down and took me to the Operating Room. David came with me, dressed in a funny suit and Charity stayed and waited in the labor room. The OR was really cold, which didn't help my already shivering body, but the nurses brought me a nice, warm blanket and put a tube with warm air to blow on me. As I watched the doctors get ready I kind of started to freak out because I could tell that I wasn't numbed up well enough. The anesthesiologist came and talked to me about what I was feeling then he asked me if I was ready for the operation to begin to which I answered a very categoric "NO" because I was afraid that I would feel pain. Both him and David smiled and told me than that the doctors were already cutting me open and obviously I wasn't feeling any pain. :) Not very long after, David announced that the doctors were getting really close to getting the baby out. My eyes filled with tears of excitement and anticipation. I'd forgotten about all the pain and troubles I've gone through an all I felt was happiness and strong emotions. The anesthesiologist pulled down the curtain that was separating me from the doctors and I saw dr. Bench pull Jane out of my belly. As she was coming out she started crying and I started crying with her. It was 1:08PM when she was born and she weighed 9lb 7oz and was 20 in long. The nurses took her away for a little bit to check her, and David went with them but returned soon holding Jane in his arms. She was so tiny. Her hair was really dark and her skin was red and very soft. I couldn't help but cry more as I kissed her gently on her forehead. David had to take her away again and I was left with the doctors to finish up the operation. As they were working on me I started feeling real pain this time and the anesthesiologist gave me a couple more shots that pretty much knocked me out. I could hear everyone talk and I knew that they were moving me and even talking to me but it was all like a dream. I woke up around 3PM in a different room. A couple of nurses were there as well as Charity, cousin Sara and my sweet David. Later that day my Mom came to visit, as well as Chris and his wife Miriam, Eni and Lia, and Carl and Karina. The nurses brought Jane to me and I fed her then for the first time. I couldn't believe how small and beautiful she was. I felt really happy, which happiness hasn't left me yet and I know that will linger on for a really long time.

As I look back on this experience and on the feelings I had while it happened I cannot but be amazed of the intensity of the emotions I went through. As the contractions started I became impatient and happy that we were getting really close. After being accepted into the hospital I was happy that now labor was really happening and that Jane was going to be with us soon. After the epidural stopped working properly I became anxious that this was going to be a really long process and that I will not be able to do it and finish the job. When I got to the pushing part I tried really hard to get Jane out. I wanted her out but what I was feeling was really weird. I felt like I didn't want her anymore. This feeling scared me. I knew that I did everything in my power to get her out but it just wasn't going to work out the way we planned. And her being inside my body was causing me so much pain and discomfort that I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. It was almost like it was her fault that I was going through all this. I felt better when we decided to have the C-section and as Dr. Bench took Jane out all I could feel was happiness. I'd forgotten about the pain and I just wanted to hold my baby and love her. David experienced a bunch of different emotions as well. I was so happy to see him excited about holding Jane soon but seeing him cry because I was in pain warmed my heart and deepened my love for him.

Back to the story, we were discharged from the hospital on Monday, the 8th. More feelings came over me as we arrived home and I watched Jane lie on our bed. I just wanted to cry and couldn't believe that she was there with us. It was a cry of happiness. I am so thankful for having Jane in our lives. She is a little ray of sunshine and happiness. I love holding her and watching David feed her, play with her, change her diaper and just be happy to have her. I would never go back to not having Jane and I'm just so overwhelmed with gratitude and love. I love you so much my sweet little angel!

Baby Johansen (Jane) Tummy - Progress

I'm creating a baby tummy album, so I'll keep adding pictures as the pregnancy progresses. Enjoy these pictures as they keep showing up! Thanks so much for watching!

40 Weeks

39 Weeks

38 Weeks

37 Weeks

36 Weeks

35 Weeks

33 Weeks

30 Weeks26 Weeks

22 Weeks

20 Weeks

17 Weeks

14 Weeks

13 Weeks

6 Weeks

Almost there

Well, since I don't know when Jane will decide to make her appearance in the world I thought I'd post one more time with some updates and feelings I've been having.

We're 37.5 weeks and getting bigger and more uncomfortable as we speak. I was wondering before what people mean when they say that the third trimester, and especially the last few weeks of pregnancy are uncomfortable and I think I got my answer. :) They say that you forget all about it after you have your baby so I decided to write it all down just so that I'll remember it and even have something to compare against next time I go through this. So, here it goes: if you sit too long your back starts hurting or the baby pushes down on your lower belly and that can hurt. If you walk too long you can get contractions; not necessarily painful ones but contractions nonetheless. If you lie on one side your stomach hurts and when you switch to the other side (which could take like a minute or more sometimes) your ribs hurt. You can't lie on your back or belly, of course, your hip joints get sore and painful to move and no matter how little you eat you'll still feel full and have difficulty breathing. Then there's the gas, constipation, swollen ankles sometimes and painful fingers. Yeah, don't know what's up with that one! :)

But even with all this going one, there's no greater and wonderful feeling that those kicks and rolls that the baby does constantly inside your belly. I love just watching my belly move from side to side, things sticking out or just moving under the skin. One time I had the best experience when I saw baby's body actually breathing. Her body was moving up and down very gently. If I wasn't looking I would have never felt it because it was very quiet and gentle. I loved it.

We go to the doctor every week now and every time I feel a little panic when they measure me. At 37 weeks I measured 42 cm and that's a big baby in my opinion. The doctor doesn't seem to think it's that big of a deal even though he does agree that I'm probably very uncomfortable. I'm like, "Yeah, you bet I am! Can we do something about thins?" Of course I don't say it but it would be nice if Jane came out and I could hold her in my arms rather than inside my belly. Last night in my dream I was holding her very close to my chest and it felt so good and natural. I can't wait to meet her and love her.

David is wonderful through all this. He is gone all day still but when he's home he takes care of me and helps me as much as he can. I love it when he kisses my belly before he goes to work and always tells me to take care of myself and the baby. He wants Jane to be born too and even though he's scared about it he is happy and even anxious to meet her. We know that our life will change completely once she arrives but we want her here so bad and we love her a lot.

Back to the pregnancy and how uncomfortable and unpredictable it is, I say, if you think about it too much before you get pregnant, you'll probably never do it. I've talked to and heard people saying how scared they would be to get pregnant and to have a baby; that it would be so hard and that they don't think they could ever do it. I'm not saying it'll be easy but if you just follow your heart and instincts you'll be fine. And when you do get pregnant you'll be very happy and that happiness will surpass any other fear you might experience. I remember when I found out that I was pregnant something changed inside me and from that point on the baby became the priority of my life. I still love David just the same, or even more, I love my family and I'm pretty much the same but the baby is always on my mind and all I want is for her to be happy above everything else. It's the greatest feeling you'll ever experience and I wouldn't change it for anything.

Baby and Mommy are well

Blurry picture of Jane's profile

On the 9th of September we had another dr. appointment. Everything went well until the doctor measured me and decided that I was measuring way too high for 33 weeks. The story of this pregnancy! :) He said that measuring 1 or 2 cm more would be ok but according to him I was measuring 5 cm over, which would put me at 37 weeks. So, he recommended that we have another ultrasound to make sure that everything was ok. On the 14 the we had the ultrasound. I was really nervous not knowing what they were going to say. The technician measured a few things in a hurry and gave me a blurry picture after which the doctor showed up and took almost 45 min measuring everything in great detail. It wasn't because he was concerned, but because he thought that the pictures he was able to take were really good and he could use them for his re-certification exam. So, we got the thoroughest exam we will probably ever get. The doctor said that Jane is fine, just measuring a bit bigger than other babies. She is in the 67 percentile weighting approximately 5 lbs 3 oz at 33 weeks (what she would have measured if she were a little over 34 weeks). Her body together with the placenta and the amniotic fluid make for a bigger uterus size for me but nothing of concern. So, baby's well and mom is well and possibly bringing the baby into this world a little earlier than expected.

Romanian BBQ and Baby Shower Fun

At the beginning of August a few of us got together and had a little Romanian BBQ. The Geambasu's brought delicious mici, and we also had other really good food. It was fun to see Irina, Fred and their baby Ashley, Maria, Tayler and bebe Luca who is not a bebe anymore but a cute toddler, and some of the friends who still live around in Utah but we don't get to meet too often. Ever since they found out that I was pregnant, Cristina and Eni decided to organize a baby shower for me. After weeks of preparation Cristina was able to come to Utah from DC and together with Eni they put together the shower. It took place in Pleasant Grove, at Lia's apartment and it was tons of fun. So, who came to the shower? Here's the list: Cristina Boey, Eni Hawkins with her kids Aren and Adam, my sister-in-law Charity and cousin Sara, Claudine Hatch, sora Miron Zenovia from Brasov, Lia Nielson, Eve Jaynes, Ioana Goodwin, Karina Clement, Summer Kaufman, Holly Moore and Mariana Palade. Unfortunately Irina and her sister Ioana couldn't be there but they had shown their support before the shower and I know that their hearts were there with me. We played games, had yummy treats, took pictures and of course I got to open lots of cool gifts. Thank you so much to the organizers and to everyone who came. I was really happy to have you all there.

I just don't understand

Another regular month of our lives... or how 'all we need is a better job' has become our life slogan.

Maybe there isn't anything to understand... Maybe life is just supposed to not work... Maybe we have to suffer... Maybe... Maybe...

You know what? I'm tired of maybes and of hoping. I'm just so tired... But it doesn't seem to matter because apparently there's nothing I can do to change anything. Fast! Pray! Everything is gonna be allright. Everyone's having a hard time right now. It's the stupid economy. You'll be fine. I know how you feel. Life is hard. Welcome to life! We'll pray for you. Pay your tithing. Give to fast offerings. Here's another list of jobs. It can be a lot worse than this. Now you have a story to tell your children!

True story: David finds the best work opportunity yet, about a month ago. Applies to it and realizes that he actually had met someone who worked for the company and who thought he was great and gave him her business card. We go and meet her and she seems happy to see him. She introduces him to the HR lady who tells David that the position he applied for might be already taken by an internal hire but that there is another position that opened up and he should definitely apply for that one as well. She emails David a detailed application and after a few days calls him for a phone interview that goes really well. She sends him a test after which tells him that he needs to have another interview, in person this time, with the manager of the IT department. The interview goes well and they all say that it will only be a few days and he should hear back from them. A week passes and we don't hear anything. We call to follow up. The HR lady seems impressed and says that everyone likes David very much but they are still interviewing a few people who had been referred by employees and it should take another week. On Sept. 2nd, David's birthday, we have a breakfast picnic in our bedroom, I give David a little present, we spend some time together walking around at the mall and dreaming about what we would get when we have a little more money after which David goes to work until almost midnight. I'm happy that I get to wish him happy birthday one more time before his birthday is over. We get home. He checks his email and receives the news we've been so anxious to get for three weeks. A polite message lets him know that the pool of candidates has been narrowed down to just a few and that he is not a part of them but that he can always apply for other opportunities as they arise. It was still his birthday.

Another one: We move into our new apartment and call the person who promised to help us bring our mattress from Midway. We're supposed to meet him in 10 minutes. He seems confused at first about the call and then apologizes that he won't be able to help anymore. So, we sleep on the floor for the next couple of weeks until a good friend offers to help bring the bed over.

Number three: I get a nice gift of money for the baby and am so excited that I can go out and actually get a few things that we still need for when the baby gets here. A few days later David spills soup all over his jeans and nice shoes only a few minutes before he needs to leave for work in the morning. He has no other pair of jeans and he gets to wear his broken shoes to work again, all while smelling like soup for the rest of the day. It's one of those long, 16 hour days that he will have to work today; second one this week and after not having a day of rest in about a month now. If I just didn't spend all the money and we got him another pair of cheap jeans...

Last one: Through some miracle David doesn't work the Thursday morning when I'm having my doctor's appointment. We go in. My blood pressure - good, baby's heartbeat 150 - good. After measuring me the doctor seems very concerned though that my measurement is way off. I'm 32 weeks and I measure 37. He goes and talks with someone then comes back telling us that we need an ultrasound to make sure that everything is ok. Another $400 ultrasound but it's our baby and all we care about is for me and her to be healthy. Rent and utilities due in two weeks. Another month of student loan payments that we won't be able to make; hopefully they approve us and the payments will be deferred for a while... Gas cost a lot this month again... all this commuting to Salt Lake, then driving to Riverwoods, then back to Springville seems to put quite a strain on the car. Those breaks are squeaky but hopefully won't beak down. This is the only way David can get to work.

Or maybe this is the last one... On Monday I have the first of four childbirth classes. I shouldn't have used the last bit of credit on that card to register for it but I am scared about this 'natural' yet so unpredictable event that I know I'll have to go through in only a few more weeks. David works a 16 hour day again on Monday and won't be there with me. Actually I don't know if I'll even make it as he will have the car and the class is in Provo. He tells me that he'll leave work in SLC early to come get me, I'll drop him off at Borders and then I'll have the car to go to class. He'll ask Borders to not schedule him on Monday nights for the next few weeks so he could come to the last 3 classes with me. Of course, that means he'll make less money but he loves me and knows how much I need him.

He suffers. I suffer. We encourage each other but they all seem empty words. He tries so hard to take care of us but he looks so tired all the time. He never sleeps. And then there's the trains passing constantly by only 20 feet from our apartment.

Last year at this time we were just getting settled in Ireland. A month and a half later we came back and started our life over hoping for some better times. We're still hoping as we hold each other tight. I try not to cry anymore. I don't want the baby to feel my pain. Maybe she'll be born soon and then at least she won't feel my physical pain anymore. I hope we'll be fine. I hope she's healthy. I hope David will make $2000/month soon... I hope I'll be able to work after she is born... I hope... I hope...

No Gestational Diabetes!

Short post! I had another doctor's appointment on Tuesday and the doctor told me that I don't have gestational diabetes. I'm so happy. That means that the baby should be fine and that I don't have to be on a diet! I'm still watching what I'm eating but I'm glad I don't have to make drastic changes or choices. Also the measurements were good and the heartbeat sounded ok too. The doctor didn't tell me the numbers but I'll ask next time because I like knowing how we're doing.

Funny story: I was lying down getting ready for the doctor to listen to the heartbeat. He puts the gel on my tummy and then comes with the Doppler and just as he puts the device on my skin the baby kicks it away! It was so funny to watch. She did it a couple of times in a row and the doctor was like: "it looks like she didn't like that!" I smiled but it made me proud to be her mommy. She's got personality! Hahaha! Way to go little one!

Doing well

Hello everyone! Heaven't posted much in a while and that's because even though things have happened they were kind of normal pregnancy developments or work-related. Today I decided that it's about time to post an update on how we're doing, knowing that more things will happen in the next few weeks that I will want to write about as well.

So, life's been ok for us. David switched jobs within Simply Mac once again. He was initially hired part time to teach computer programs and usage to customers. Then, after doing really good in the sales department they made him full time but also asked him if he would be a sales guy. He doesn't like selling all that much but given the opportunity to work full time he accepted the challenge. After only a month of working hard doing sales a new position opened up. It was a full time teaching position, exactly what he wanted and enjoys doing so he asked the management if he could get that and they okayed it. So, starting August he works as a full time SA guy which he enjoys much more and also fits his career goals and personality. He continues working at Borders part time and puts really long days every week. I wish I could say that all his hard work is paying off financially... Things are better for us and improving slowly but there's still a long way to financial freedom and lack of major worries. We're still trying to find one job that would be both rewarding and financially stable. All this hard work and long days away from home puts a lot of stress on David and me. We don't get to spend time together and do much other than say good morning to each other in the morning and greet each other with a warm hug and a nice home-made meal (when I have the energy to make it) at night. It's hard and I really hope that his schedule will change before our little girl arrives in November because I know how much he wants to be around to love her and see her grow.

On a more positive note, our baby girl is growing fast and seems to be happy and full of energy. At the last doctor's appointment the doctor said that all the measurements are normal, including her heartbeat, which was at 140. I get so excited every time I hear her heartbeat and I thought that this time it sounded more like a heart than it did before, one more sign that she's growing and developing. On the 29th of July I had to have a mandatory glucose test (they do it sometime between the 24th and 28th week - mine was at 26 weeks) and unfortunately my glucose level was a little high so today I went in and had a three hour test, during which they have me a whole bottle of orangey, really sweet glucose drink and took blood from my arms four!!! times. Not fun. I couldn't eat for almost 16 hours and my arms are now purple and a little painful but what I really hope is that both baby and I will be ok and healthy.

One other thing that happened a couple of weeks ago is the fact that we found a cute two-bedroom apartment in Springville (just South of Provo) that we think will be great for us and our little girl. We signed the contract already and will be able to move in anytime after the first week of August when all the paining, cleaning and other work that the manager wanted to get done should be finished.

These past few weeks had been a little more fun for me thanks to my friends Eni and Lia as well. We went to see Eclipse together and just yesterday we had a great time at the Seven Peaks water park in Provo. Eclipse was awesome. It's so far my most favorite movie in the Twilight series. As I keep telling everyone, I love the books but the movies didn't impress me at all until I saw Eclipse, which was more dynamic and interesting (except for the part where the vampires break into pieces as if they were made of glass or marble). The day at Seven Peaks was fun too. The morning was hot and perfect but the afternoon brought lots of rain and thunderstorms which lingered through the night and half of today as well. Even with the rain I did manage to get a nice sunburn on my shoulders, which I kind of missed since back in Romania we used to go to the beach for a couple of weeks every summer and burn and be happy. :) So much fun. I miss those days and the Black Sea. Speaking of which, I can't believe that last time I visited Romania and my family was in 2006, before we got married and that last time I went to the beach in Mamaia was in 2004. Time flies when you're busy and I can't believe that I've been married for a little over three years, I graduated college and I'll be having a baby in about 13 weeks. I'm content with my life and with all the experiences I've been through these past years since I left. I am in love like I've never been before and I'm so happy to become a mommy. Little girl is kicking me in my ribs :) so I guess I'll go lie down for a few minutes but I just wanted to thank each and everyone of you my dear friends and family for being here for us and for loving us unconditionally. I love you too.

We're having the cutest baby girl!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, it's about time for some updates from the Johansens. Life's been stressful and good all of the same time. Stressful because David is still looking for a job that would provide for us. He still works his two jobs but as more loan payments, doctors appointments and ultrasounds keep piling up, our money keeps disappearing. I know that money tends to do that but in our case it just comes and goes and we don't even get to look at it and feel better about all the long hours David puts into earning this hard worked for money. And I don't know if it's pregnancy or what but I keep thinking that I'd love to be able to buy diapers, a crib, bedding, clothes and bottles for our little baby but there's no money for it. I've been trying to find some work online but wasn't very successful there and it just kills me to bring this baby into our family and not be able to provide for her.

Speaking of HER... Yes, we are now 99% sure that our baby is a little girl! he 20 weeks ultrasound confirmed, more or less the fact and we'd like to believe that it was right. Why aren't we 100 % sure? It seems that our little girl is pretty stubborn. Every time we tried to look at her she would keep her legs really tight. We only got a couple sneak peeks, which was apparently enough for the tech and doctor to declare that they're very positive that this is a girl. We do have a picture to prove it but what do we know? She would not show us a profile either so we got pictures of her bum, feet, legs and back of her head but no cute little face. Shy little thing! LOL Anyway, as far as we could tell she looked great and she seems to be strong and healthy... and moving a lot! She moved all the time, which made us laugh but got the ultrasound tech a bit frustrated. :) So, no reason for me to be worried that baby is not moving, even though I still can't seem to feel her a whole lot. After going to the doctor, a few days before the ultrasound I was still a little concerned. We did hear her heartbeat again but the doctor kept asking me "So, would you say you feel her move three times a day? Or how many?" And I was like "Well, can't really say that I ever felt her move..." And then she finds the heartbeat and the baby moves as we were listening and the doctor was like "Did you feel that?" and I was like "Ummm... noooo?". Anyway, it turns out that all those ticklings, like gas bubbles that I feel sometimes in my tummy are actually the baby and I swear that a couple of times she went all the way at the lowest part of my tummy and was just laying there, cause I felt this heaviness and when I touched it it was like a little bump that moved away after a second or so. So, I know that she's fine even though I only feel her every once in a while and not even every day.

So, now that we got used to the idea that it's a girl and not a boy, as almost everyone I know predicted, including ourselves, we are really excited and talk to her and about her all the time. We just love her so much! We don't have a name picked yet but hopefully that will happen soon.

Here are a few pictures of our little girl, the best that we can come up with as of right now. My most favorite is the one of her foot. :) I really hope that we'll get to see her one more time before she's born and that we'll actually get a clearer view of her gender and of her cute little face just so that there won't be any gender-related surprises. LOL Enjoy!

12 weeks? Not so sure... Let's check it out!

* Enjoy our baby's first picture!

So, everything is been going well since we found out that we were expecting. A month ago we had the first prenatal exam and the doctor said that both the baby and myself are doing great. A couple of weeks ago David's parents came to visit from Japan and we had tons of fun maternity shopping. We even looked for baby car seats and strollers but decided that it's a little too early to buy one now.
David's been working his two jobs and enjoys the Simply Mac position the best because it keeps him connected and updated on everything in the computer world. He also enjoys taking care of us which is great since I haven't really been able to be serious enough about getting another job. I just don't feel up for it right now. I was just thinking this morning how I'd have a very hard time committing to a job because I wouldn't feel strong enough to do it. Most of the days I'm either nauseous or tired and when I feel good I do too much around the house and then I get nauseous again. I know that my nausea is a lot milder than what many of my friends have experienced, especially since I haven't really thrown up once since my pregnancy started, but just the feeling of not really being myself is kind of discouraging when it comes to being serious about a job. So, anyway, David's been really supportive and I love him so much for that.
Yesterday we had our second Doctor's appointment and the doctor said once again that everything looks great and the results of the lab work we did last time were all good. We were also very excited to hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time yesterday! I wanted to cry when I heard it. We were both amazed that such a tiny baby can have such a strong heartbeat. The doctor confirmed that the heartbeat was good and regular. However, when he checked my uterus he wasn't so sure that I was only 12 weeks along so he ordered an ultrasound which I had right after the appointment. Unfortunately, David couldn't stay for it because he was already late for work but we talked as soon as I was done and I told him about the experience. It was such a miracle to see our little baby moving inside my tummy. It moved its arms a few times and liked to keep them in front of the face while it kept its legs crossed. I could see its knees and little legs! I was so nervous that I was a little shaky, which was also probably because my bladder was really full and I was feeling a little cold. :) So, we don't have twins but our baby is one week older than we thought before.
Seeing the baby and hearing its heartbeat made the whole pregnancy a lot more real. I now know for a fact that there is a little baby growing steadily inside me. I'm starting to feel more like a mom and I'm already imagining what it will be like to have the baby here with us.
We are very happy and excited and can't wait for the 20 weeks ultrasound when we'll hopefully be able to find out if our little baby is a boy or a girl. No matter what it is, we already love our baby with all our hearts and can't wait for it to get here on November 3rd, one week earlier than we first expected!

Good news! Finally...

Hello dear friends! We finally have some good news to share with you. It's about time, you might say and I totally agree with you! :) It's not fun when life is hard and to tell you the truth I'm really tired of it. As some might say, "I've had it!"But back to the story. In January we decided that it was time for our family to grow a little so we started trying for a little Johansen Jr. I read books, such as "What to expect before you're expecting" which proved very interesting but didn't give me much of hope that I will become pregnant any time soon. Apparently, after being on birth control for a while, some women take between 6 months and a year to get pregnant while others conceive very soon. I didn't feel like I was the fast type, even though my mom assured me that if I inherited any of her genes it won't be long. :) Sometime at the end of February I wasn't feeling very well so I thought I'd try a pregnancy test. The result was almost positive. Why almost? Because it was negative but there was a second feint line that showed a possibility of being pregnant. I was pretty disappointed but continued to read books on what to do to be healthy and ready for a baby. Things went better than we expected and on March 9th we found out through the miracle of home-testing that we are going to have a baby! Being as skeptical as I was, David bought me a new test, as the one I had at home was about to expire. Not knowing that he will buy a new test, I myself bought one just to be sure. Well, I ended up trying 5 more different tests, all of them showing a positive result!!!! Crazy, I know. After about a week of feeling nauseous we went to a clinic in Salt Lake and their test confirmed what we already knew. We are gong to have a baby and he/she will apparently be born at the beginning of November! We are very excited and nervous at the same time.
The other good news is that David had a second interview with Simply Mac, a computers and accessories store, and they offered him a part time position! We really hope that it will become full time soon but for now David is trying to find a second job so that we could move in our own apartment and get ready for the little one that is growing and making me tired and not so fun to be around. :) You women out there surely know what I'm talking about. Even though the pregnancy's been pretty easy on me so far I'm still not my best and I can tell that something is happening in my body. I can't wait to have the first ultrasound at the beginning of April, just to be sure that everything is ok. Did any of you, moms out there ever fee; uncertain and scared that maybe the baby isn't ok? Especially when you can't see any changes in your appearance at the beginning of your pregnancy? I sometimes feel that way but David tries to calm me down and assure me that everything is fine.

Anyway, this is our news so far. We hope that all of you are happy and doing well and we love you and wish you only great things!