Happy Alyss at 3 Months

Just a short post about how good of a baby Alyss is. She smiles at everyone A LOT and talks all the time. She also loves to eat and sleep and prefers to fall asleep on the bed, not in someone's arms. She also likes to lie on the bed or floor and just play with her hands, suck on her fingers and kick her legs. She is just the cutest baby and so easy to take care of. We love you little Alyss.

Alyss wearing her new earrings

Jane at 18 Months

Where does time go? Jane, you're already 18 months old and a happy and very active toddler. You love to play, run and talk. You imitate everything we say and know some words too. You love to eat 'nanas' (bananas), recognize 'appus' (apples) and 'cakeks'  (cupcakes) in pictures and absolutely love to play with the 'ipu' (iPad). You like to watch mommy's 'how to crochet' videos and play daddy's 'Infinity blade' game. You know how to use the iPad, turn on and off the TV and are even starting to learn how to use a mouse on grandma Lucy's laptop. One thing we love to hear you say is 'Aysh' (Alyss). You always let us know when Alyss is awake and crying and try to help by giving her the binky or her bottle. You are such a helpful and loving older sister. Alyss loves to watch you and smiles when she sees you around.
Some other things you know are giving kisses, saying 'hi' and waving 'goodbye'. You are very friendly around other children and people and always give them big smiles. Everyone thinks you're really cute and pretty. We don't need anyone to tell us that though. We love you very much and are really proud of you. You are smart and intelligent and a joy to be around. We love you our beautiful Jane!

Stats from the 18 months doctor's appointment:
- Weight: 27lbs - approx. 80%
- Height: 32in - approx. 80%
The doctor said that you're very healthy and proportionate and repeated lots of times that he is very impressed with how good of a job we're doing as parents taking care of you :)

Two Months Old Alyssuca

Alyss at 2 Months

Our little Alyss is already two months old and as happy as she can be. She eats a lot (about 3.5oz at a shot) and loves to sleep. If you interrupt her sleep she will make sure to let you know how unhappy she is. :) She is also really smart. She smiles a lot and when she sees videos of herself moves her arms and starts to talk. She talks quite a bit, especially when anyone looks at her and talks to her. She's grown 3.5 inches and gained 3 pounds. She weighs 10.6 lbs and is 22.5in long (50th percentile) which is great and very proportionate. The doctor said that she looks very happy and healthy and he also said that he didn't notice any clicks in her hips. We'll have to do another ultrasound at 4 months to be sure but until then he said that we shouldn't worry because he thinks that she's fine and healthy. I'm glad that my instincts that told me not to worry and that everything will be ok proved to be right so far. Even though my brain told me to worry, I never felt that she needed to be put in a sling and I had a feeling that she is ok. I hope that the ultrasound will confirm that.

Alyss at 2.5 Months

Since her 2 months check-up she had a runny nose but didn't upset her too much. We've been breastfeeding full time and she loves mommy's milk. We also have a lady friend who shares her baby's milk with us to supplement when mommy doesn't make quite enough. I hope to be able to keep this up at least until she's 6 months old. Another thing that she does that amazes me is that she moves a lot in her sleep. I put her on her back and she turns on her side and snuggles next to me. She sometimes lifts herself up on her elbow in her sleep too. We co-sleep, which I love and so I can take notice of everything she does. She goes to sleep for the night around midnight, after an entire day of sleeping most of the time, feeds a little bit around 3am and then sleeps until 8am when she feeds again in her sleep and sleeps until 10am. I love how good of a sleeper she is and I hope she keeps it up at night. 

Outside, in grandma Lucy's arms

At her 2 months appointment Alyss had her first round of shots and we're participating in a study where they combined 3 vaccines into one so she only got 2 shots instead of 3. She reacted really well and didn't get sick. She was a bit fussy the day of and got a small lump at the injection site but it all went away within a day. It was a little sad to see the nurse draw blood from her little arm and to see her and another nurse stab Alyss with a shot in each leg at the same time but it all went away pretty quickly and she calmed down almost immediately after I picked her up in my arms. 

Cute smile

I love to feel her little body close to mine. I love to kiss her round, chubby cheeks and her perfectly round head. I love to see her serene smile and to hear her coos. I love to see Jane look at Alyss with a lot of love in her eyes even though sometimes Alyss' cries upset her or she gets an little jealous when David or I hold Alyss. I love to see David hold Alyss and Jane in his arms or on his legs. I just love my cute family and my adorable babies. I'm so blessed to have them and David and I wouldn't change my life for anything. 

Updates

Alyss is such a tiny, sweet baby. She eats a lot and sleeps almost all night long and during the day quite a bit, and occasionally has some colics which make her cry but go away when I give her Cocyntal herbal drops. She is very alert and happy. She likes to be held and cuddles next to me in her sleep. We breastfeed but because I don't make too much (about 3.5oz every 4 hours) we also use milk from a friend who has a 4 months old baby and is kind enough to share her milk with us.

I feel better too. The episiotomy's healed more and doesn't hurt as much. At the 6 weeks check-up I received an IUC (IUD without hormones) which I can keep in as long as 10 years but can take out any time we want to try for another baby. I love not having to worry about birth control. I was pretty scared before I went in but even though the doctor said that I might be feeling pinches or pressure I didn't feel a thing and I sure was happy about it.

Having my mom here is wonderful and a lot of help. She takes care of Alyss a lot so that I could spend time with Jane and take naps during the day. We have a great time going on walks, eating at Burger King and watching Romanian television on her laptop. :)

Jane's gotten a lot better about accepting Alyss. She gives her the binky and the bottle even when ALyss doesn't want them :) and calls Alyss by name. On occasion she still gets upset but doesn't cry uncontrollably or throws huge fits any more. I really hope that they'll be best friends when they grow up.

Too many chocolate eggs :)

Alyss' First Easter

Cutie pie

Alyss's First Doctor's Visit at 2.5 Weeks

For Alyss's' first doctor's appointment we went to Dr. Tayler. The visit was pretty short and he said that Alyss is healthy but he had a couple of concerns. First, she only weighed 7.11lb, only 2 oz over her birth weight so Dr. Tayler suggested that I should try pumping more to make more milk or supplement with some formula. I've done more of the pumping and a bit of supplementing and hopefully she's gaining more weight. We'll recheck her weight at 3.5 weeks. Another concern he had was that he felt a click in her left hip so he sent us to the Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake to have an ultrasound. The ultrasound did show that her hip bones are shallow and underdeveloped (this is called hip dysplasia and apparently is pretty common) and the doctor said that we might need another ultrasound in a couple of weeks to see how things progresses and we might also need to see a Pediatric Orthopedist who might put Alyss in a sling for a couple of months. Dr. Tayler said that it doesn't look like she needs surgery but he does want her to be seen by an Orthopedist as soon as possible to take care of this problem. The rest of the visit went well but I was pretty shaken up by Alyss's loud cries when the nurse drew blood from her heel for the mandatory test that checks for some genetic diseases.
I've been feeling some weird feelings after this visit. With Jane everything went so well and smooth and she had no health problems. This time, even in the hospital the ear doctor was concerned after the first exam and wanted to recheck her hearing. Fortunately it all turned out ok and she has no problems but it already scared me a little. Now, it seems that Alyss needs to be put in a special sling to keep her hips in the right position so that they develop correctly. It really scares and saddens me and I've been thinking how hard it must be for parents of really sick children to see them suffer. I felt really sad and anxious when the nurse drew her blood or when the ultrasound tech pushed on her hips to get the pictures. Doctors and nurses seem so heartless. They all do their job and had to act as if they don't care that the baby is in pain and scared but I just have such a hard time watching them and not being able to help Alyss in any way, just try my best to comfort her. I really hope that Alyss will turn out healthy and okay and that both her and Jane will grow healthy and happy.

So tiny 

In her bear suit

I'm the big sister

Little sister

My baby and I

My other baby and I

New Baby in our House

Well, when we decided to have our babies close to each other in age we thought that even though it would be hard having little ones at the same time, it wouldn't be impossible to deal with. The first couple of days after Alyss and I came home from the hospital seemed to try to prove the exact opposite. The first day, Monday I asked David to stay home and help me even though my mom was here and very willing to help. I needed him to be with me and to help me go through the baby blues, the pain from giving birth and having an episiotomy and really swollen hemorrhoids and the huge adjustment that having a toddler and a new baby might've required. So, even though that day wasn't the best day of my life, it wasn't too bad either.

The next day though David went to work and possibly the hardest day of my life was just about to begin. Jane woke up crying and never stopped throughout the day. Alyss was being as good as a newborn can be, just fussing whenever she needed to eat, but because of the extra tension and Jane's crying she decided that she should be crying as well. On top of this craziness I was in really bad pain. The episiotomy hurt, my bottom hurt, I had cramps, my breasts started making milk and were heavy and painful, my nipples were sore from breastfeeding and I was pretty constipated and really needed to get some relief. Well, It took me almost all day to find the relief I needed while having Jane with me in the bathroom crying and throwing tantrums, holding unto me wherever I went and screaming uncontrollably every time I held Alyss to feed her or to change her diaper. Never thought that Jane was going to have such a hard time accepting Alyss  but she seemed to feel really lonely and abandoned. I kept crying and feeling so sad for her. I wanted to reassure her that I still loved her. I kept telling her that but she didn't seem to hear me. I thought that she really hated me for bringing Alyss home.

At the end of the day when David came home I was such a mess that I burst into tears and couldn't stop for a long while. I felt that things were never going to get better, that I was going crazy and that I just wanted to go to sleep and wake up realizing that all of it was just a nightmare.

Since then, things have changed quite a bit. Jane is now more accepting of Alyss. She pats her head sometimes and gives her the binky. In the beginning she wouldn't let Alyss close to her, she wanted to sleep on top of her when we put Alyss in bed with us, and she even tried hitting her a few times.
Things are still crazy and I still feel sometimes that I reached my limits but I love these two so much and I really want them to be happy. I sometimes feel sad that I don't get to spend as much time with Jane as I used to and that I can't give Alyss as much attention as I gave Jane when she was a newborn. I believe now that I can deal with this new situation, even though it isn't going to be easy and I really hope that I will be able to manage my time well and also be able to enjoy life and the excitement of having two beautiful and sweet baby girls.

The Perfect Birth Experience - Alyss Lucy Johansen

Alyss Lucy Johansen

Holding Alyss for the first time

Daddy introducing Alyss to Jane

During the third trimester I've been really contemplating the idea to VBAC and started going to a clinic (Valley OB) in Provo to get ready to deliver at the Utah Valley Medical Center.
So, after a great second pregnancy the time has come to give birth to our baby daughter. My desire to VBAC was taken into account and when we went to the doctor for the 39w2d appointment, he decided to strip my membranes (ouch, that really hurt) to hopefully start labor early. He also suggested that we should be induced before 40 weeks to keep the baby small and hopefully easier to deliver vaginally. The induction was set for Friday, Feb 17th. I did get some more bloody show and some contractions but they were irregular and didn't really start labor.

We showed up at the hospital at 7am and sat around for a couple of hours before the doctor came and broke my water. I was having some contractions on my own before he broke my water but they were not strong or regular so I was given oxytocin to help with the contractions and the dilation. After I was given the oxytocin and my water was broken I started getting stronger and more painful contractions to the point where after about two hours I asked for some pain medicine. I was given a narcotic that took the edge off the pain and helped me get through contractions easier. However, even with the narcotic, after another hour I felt that I really needed the epidural, which was administered around 11am. It felt really good when the epidural started working and I could relax a bit and get some rest. At this point I was 6 cm dilated. Since I was pretty sleepy I tried to sleep a little but after about another 30 minutes the doctor came to check up on me and announced that I was dilated to 10 cm and it was time to take me off the epidural and have me start pushing. Both David and myself were really surprised that I progressed so quickly (it took 10 hours for me to get to 10 cm the first time). So, we started pushing (I was at stage 0 at that time) and immediately the baby's head started showing. After pushing for about 20 minutes and needing an episiotomy (thank goodness that I was numbed up and didn't need any other shots for that) Alyss Lucy Johansen was born and David got to cut her umbilical cord. The entire birth took 3 hours and 50 minutes!

Alyss weighted 7lb 10oz and was 19in long. After the nurses cleaned her up a little bit and put some drops in her eyes they brought her to me and put her on my chest. I was so happy that I was able to deliver her vaginally and that she was so beautiful, healthy and perfect. They took her away to get her really cleaned up and run other tests and I was left with the doctor to finish sewing up my incision. After I was moved to another room to recover Alyss was brought to me and I nursed her. Even though my belly was hurting and my episiotomy started to hurt as well whenever I held Alyss I felt better and forgot of all the pain. We stayed in the hospital for 2 days and went home on Sunday.

From start to end this pregnancy and birth were exactly as I always dreamed. I don't feel sad or unaccomplished when I think back at Jane's C-section birth but I'm very happy that I was able to experience a natural birth and was awake and alert when Alyss came into this world.
We love you very much little Alyss and are very happy and so excited that you joined our family.

Exciting News

These last few weeks we had a lot of news and stuff happening. I'll post it in chronological order, going backwards from today on.
Feb 11 - We signed the contract and will be moving into our apartment tomorrow! I also lost the mucous plug once again :)
Feb 9 - Jane had her 15 months shots. FOUR of them!!! She cried when she got them but calmed down quickly and walked out of the clinic holding my hand and smiling. Next round of shots is at 24 months. Phew. No more shots for her for a while. We'll start with Alyss soon. I had another chiropractor's appointment and it felt great to have my back cracked and massaged. I also had a dentist appointment and everything looks good. All I need is a good cleaning, which I'm already scheduled for in a couple of weeks.
Feb 8 - My Mom arrived here safely. Had another dr. appointment and I'm measuring 38 cm at 38 weeks. Baby still hasn't descended. I'm dilated to almost 2 cm.
Feb 6 - Jane walked by herself for the first time!!!!!!
Feb 5 - I lost the mucous plug. Maybe Alyss is going to be here earlier than we think :) Also, had fun watching the Super Bowl and eating ribs, chips and dips, crackers and cheese.
Feb 1 - We turned in our tax return and we also decided to move back into Springville. Same building, different apartment. We're so excited to have our own place again.
Jan 31 - We found out that my Mom's loan got approved and helped her get her ticket. She'll get here on the 8th!
Jan 28 - Eni organized a baby shower for me at Lia's house. Cloey, Gabi and Serena came too. It was fun.

Jane walking - Feb 6 

My Baby Shower

Our Little Jane is Walking!!!

February 6, 2012

We thought we'd help her practice a bit when she started walking all by herself and wouldn't stop. She even walked in circles, picked up toys off the floor and ran around with excitement. We are so happy and proud of her. 

February 11, 2012

She loves to walk and practices more and more every day. In the beginning she couldn't get back up when she fell forward on her hands but now she actually pushes herself back up and keeps on walking. We are so proud of you our little Jane! We love you a lot!

Doctors and Stats

During the past few weeks both Jane and I had a few doctors appointments. For me mostly to check that the pregnancy and Alyss are progressing well. I'm happy to report that things are great with both of us. At this last appointment I was 37 weeks and 2 days along, blood pressure good, tested positive for B-strep but I kind of expected that since I was positive last time too, baby's heart rate was 140 and my bump measured 36.5cm. I'm happy that so far Alyss seems to be on track and hopefully a bit smaller than Jane. It gives me hope that the VBAC might be successful. ANd, speaking of VBAC, it's official. I transferred to the Valley OB clinic in Provo and will attempt VBAC at the Utah Valley Medical Center. The doctor I saw last time wasn't my favorite (the clinic has a few doctors and any of them could be at the hospital when I deliver - I kind of hope it's not this one). I asked questions and proposed several things and he pretty much turned me down on every single one of them. I asked for a walking epidural because I'd like to be able to move more during labor to hopefully help things along and he was like, there's no evidence that would work. Asked about stitches vs. staples and he said that staples it is cause it's better and it's probably my genes that don't help make the scar pretty. He also said that even though I'm dilated to almost 2cm and 60% effaced it's no guarantee that the baby will descend this time and we might want to know that before labor. He seemed to not be very hopeful even though he said that things look ok. The pelvic exam wasn't very pleasant and I bled a bit and had painful contractions afterwards but again, they said that this is normal at this stage. I'm not complaining but I kind of hoped that the doctor would be a bit more supportive of my attempt to have a VBAC. After all this is the main reason why I'm not having a C-section with Dr. Tayler who is an excellent doctor and very kind and friendly. I hope that at the hospital I will be encouraged and not rushed into any decisions unless necessary.
I had two other appointments: one with the optometrist, who said I have astigmatism and gave me what he called "an interesting glasses prescription" and one with a chiropractor who massaged my back, popped it and my neck and tried to put my pelvis into place. Apparently my pelvis is a bit misaligned and this is why I'm having so much pain. I'll have to go back cause I'm still hurting but I'm at least happy that he was able to check what's going on and work on me a little bit. Jane cried a lot while the doctor was working on me because she is very protective of me so the experience wasn't the best because I could tell that the doctor was flustered even though he tried hard not to show it.
Jane had a couple appointments herself. She went to the dentist for the first time and the doctor said that her teeth look great and that she will soon get one more incisive and four premolars. No sign of canines yet :). He advised me to brush her teeth at night and to not let her sleep with the bottle, which we've never done anyway. The other appointment she had was her 15 months well-child check-up. She screamed when the doctor touched her. For some reason she is really afraid of doctors. I'm pretty nervous about next week when she'll get her 15 months shots but we'll have to do it. Anyway, she is 32in long (92%) and 24lbs (75%). The doctor said that she looks great and is right on track.
So, now we're getting ready for Alyss to show up and before then I'll go to the chiropractor at least once more and also to the dentist. Thank goodness for MedicAid who pays for all this.
Here are a few more recent pictures.

37 Weeks

Cute Jane

Bump Progress - Bebe 2

Well, just like everyone told me before I got pregnant the second time, when you have a second, third etc. baby, you don't have time to take as many pictures and record everything as the first time. I'm guilty as charged of this but I'll try to make up for it. I'll post the bump pictures that I take. They may not look as official as in my first album, when I was pregnant with Jane,  but I'm excited to post them. I do want to have a record of the happenings of this pregnancy because I'm just as excited and can't wait to meet our sweet baby girl. This baby is just as important and I'll try to give her more attention. So, enjoy the bump pics for Bebe 2!

13 Weeks

14 Weeks 

15 Weeks

16 Weeks

20 Weeks

23 Weeks

29 Weeks

34 Weeks

37 Weeks

39 Weeks

34 Weeks Already?!?!?!

That's right. Believe it or not, I'm 34 weeks along. Only a few more weeks and Alyss will be here. Who knows, she might come a bit early. I wouldn't mind as long as she's healthy.

The last doctor's appointment went well, just like all the others. My blood pressure was good, urine good, measured 34cm and baby's heart rate was 148, also good. We've been discussing with the doctor what options do I have concerning the birth and after this last visit I really started thinking seriously if I want to try VBAC (vaginal birth after C-section) or a C-section again. We already have the C/S scheduled for the 15th of February (due date is the 20th) but I really felt recently that I'd like to try VBAC. The doctor isn't opposed to it but he said that he would need to refer me to a doctor in Provo or Salt Lake so that I could give birth at a big and well-equipped hospital, in case of an emergency and the necessity of a C/S. I've done some research and it seems that VBAC is totally possible and it can be successful but there is a chance for the baby to not get enough oxygen or for a uterine rupture. The main reason why I'm still considering the C/S is because with Jane I tried to deliver vaginally but, even though I dilated to 10cm she never descended and her heart rate was not very stable. I fear that it might happen again so I've decided to not get an epidural for as long as I can manage, and to walk around, not just lay in bed. I might even consider to get in the tub at some point. I remember that last time, even though the contractions hurt I felt better when I would stand and walk than when I stayed in bed and I got horrible back pain. I also hope that walking and standing will help the baby position herself and descend and also will help me dilate without the use of pitocin. They will not give me pitocin because it creates violent contractions, which could be dangerous for my previous incision. So, I feel good about trying VBAC and I really hope that I will be able to do it and not have to take tons of medications and endure the pain and recovery after a C/S. I want to be able to take care of my babies afterwards, with David working a lot and me being at home with both of them. We'll let the doctor know of the decission next week, at the next appointment, when I'll also ask him to check that Alyss is head down and getting ready to make her appearance into the world. I've been having Braxton Hicks contractions on and off and I feel pressure in my pelvis so I know that my body is getting ready for the big event. I also get occasional back pain and the aches in my pelvis, all the way around are pretty bad, especially after I go on walks but, just like last time, I plan on walking all the way until the last day. It makes me happy and I know it's good for me and the baby, plus Jane really enjoys our walks as well. Can't wait for Alyss to get here, to see her and hold her close. I'm nervous about what it's going to be like and how Jane will react but I'm also excited to have another little girl and the chance to be the Mommy of a newborn once more. I love being pregnant and I love babies and am happy that David is always by my side, supports me, comes to all the appointments and is just as excited about our baby girls as I am.

2011 - A year of love

December 2011

Happy together

As we approach the Christmas holiday and the end of the year, we once again reflect on the year we’ve had and the ups and downs that enriched and filled our lives. As our family’s tradition goes, we like to put on paper the highlights of our year. We hope you enjoy reading about us and hope to hear back about your lives.                                                                                                                                  

David’s year’s been an interesting one. He worked two jobs at Simply Mac and Borders Bookstore all the way until the end of July and got accepted into a Master Program at the New York Institute of Technology. As we were getting ready to leave, the school asked David to postpone starting school until January 2012 because of changes they were still working on. October rolls by and we learn that the changes were more drastic than we thought and involved an entirely online program. Our plans to move to NYC changed once again with us deciding to stay in Utah and continue with our lives. David still works at Simply Mac while looking into finding computer training jobs that he might be qualified for or even some other better paying jobs that could provide enough income for us to live a decent life.

Jane's Second Christmas

Dahlee had a pretty eventful year as well. Being a stay-home-mom for Jane, she worked at being a good example and a loving mother to her. Seeing Jane grow brings Dahlee much joy and a sense of accomplishment. In June, we found out that we are expecting our second baby, which we found out is another girl. We are so excited to bring Jane a little baby sister and hope that they will love each other very much. In September, Dahlee was sworn in and became an American citizen. She is very happy and proud to be an American and even changed her name to Dahlee Anna to make it a bit easier to pronounce for everyone. One activity that Dahlee became very interested in and enjoyed doing this year is crocheting. She’s made many cute hats and is thinking and hoping to be able to make more and to even sell them. She already has a few orders and sold a couple of hats too.

Jane is one

Jane turned one in November. We had a nice party for her and she received many cool gifts. She is as happy as can be and is developing ways to express her feelings and needs more. Sometimes that means she cries or screams, while other times it means smiling or pointing with her finger. We went to Disneyland in October and Jane loved the carousels. Some milestones Jane accomplished this year include sitting on her own, eating by herself, mastering the pincer grasp, crawling, walking while holding unto furniture, saying ‘mama’ and ‘dada’ and walking while holding our hand.

We had a good year and hope that the next will be even better, especially with the arrival of a new baby in February, the visit of my Mom and Jane growing taller, walking and talking. We are thankful for dear family members and friends who stood by us in good and not so good times and for the things we were able to accomplish this year. Now, at the end of 2011, we wish you to have a wonderful holiday season surrounded by your loved ones and a wonderful and successful 2012.

Jane loves stuffed animals and barks like a little dog when she sees one :)

Love, David, Dahlee and Jane

Changes, struggles, togetherness, life...

Well,we've had an ok year so far and I kind of forgot to be depressed. It's not that I enjoy it but last year we had so much depressing stuff going on that I had a hard time staying positive.
It's now almost the end of November and life's turned a bit on the depressing side again... We were going to move to NYC for David's school in August but they asked us to postpone it until December. Borders closed down and David lost his job there, so we moved from our apartment in Springville to David's parents' condo in Midway. We're very thankful for their help but it's still not the same as having our own place and with the snow coming in a lot more up here, winter would be really hard and unpredictable with David not being able to always make it to work or back home after work.
Anyway, at the begining of November David's school told us that his program is entirely online now and we don't have to move anymore. That was good news cause it would cost a lot less for his school and we wouldn't have to move during winter, with a young child and me pregnant. The downside is that we stopped looking for more reiable and better paying jobs since we thought we'd be leaving so now, we dont have many, if any options concerning where we'd be staying and if we could even afford the doctor visits for me and Jane. Heaven forbid any emergencies! Last week one of my fillings fell out and it was awful. We used a credit card to pay to have a new filling put in but it only proved how unprepared and poor we are in case of any unexpected expense and even in the case of expected ones. We looked at apartments and any two bedroom apartment, even the crappy ones, cost around $600/month plus utilities if you're lucky to find a deal. Even though David got a promotion a couple of months ago at Simply Mac, we still can't afford a decent enough place. We want to move before the bad snow comes in, before I get even bigger and definitely before Alyss is born but while I'm being optimistic and try to budget so that we might be able to make it work, David reminds me how we might not have enough money for food and definitely no money for any, even small emergency. I don't want to put our family in a situation where we woud have to be kicked out of an apartment and I definitely feel that since I don't work I shouldn't be the one deciding on our future. But I want to be positive and have faith that things WILL work out soMehow for us. David has a couple of job interviews lined up and the apartment we found is small and nothing even close to modern but clean and in a good neighborhood. It's close to David's work, so the weather won't be a problem, and it's close to grocery stores so I could shop for dinner if I need to and I won't feel secluded, like in Midway, away from even a road where Jane and I could go for walks.
So, I really don't like being in this situation again, where we don't know what will happen to us and if we can take care of ourselves. It is depressing when the afordable housing apartment gives you a limit for your income, where we'd be makjng too much to stay there, and you don't even make half that limit. We are happy to be together, to have Jane and to be expecting another bundle of joy in less than three months but given these circumstances, we feel that we want to be able to provide for our babies and at least give them the bare necessities a baby is in need of. We hope that things will work out soon and that we will make the best decisions for the future.

Bebe 2 Ultrasound Pictures

Ultrasound 1 at 13 Weeks 2 Days

On her tummy, bent legs - 13 Weeks

On her tummy, straight legs 

On her back - she moved a lot :)

Lifted her head

Ultrasound 2 at 24 Weeks 

Her face and tummy 

Her arm 

Her little heart

Her leg

She turned on the other side - her head and body again

Face detail - her lips 

Her hand