Alyss's First Doctor's Visit at 2.5 Weeks

For Alyss's' first doctor's appointment we went to Dr. Tayler. The visit was pretty short and he said that Alyss is healthy but he had a couple of concerns. First, she only weighed 7.11lb, only 2 oz over her birth weight so Dr. Tayler suggested that I should try pumping more to make more milk or supplement with some formula. I've done more of the pumping and a bit of supplementing and hopefully she's gaining more weight. We'll recheck her weight at 3.5 weeks. Another concern he had was that he felt a click in her left hip so he sent us to the Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake to have an ultrasound. The ultrasound did show that her hip bones are shallow and underdeveloped (this is called hip dysplasia and apparently is pretty common) and the doctor said that we might need another ultrasound in a couple of weeks to see how things progresses and we might also need to see a Pediatric Orthopedist who might put Alyss in a sling for a couple of months. Dr. Tayler said that it doesn't look like she needs surgery but he does want her to be seen by an Orthopedist as soon as possible to take care of this problem. The rest of the visit went well but I was pretty shaken up by Alyss's loud cries when the nurse drew blood from her heel for the mandatory test that checks for some genetic diseases.
I've been feeling some weird feelings after this visit. With Jane everything went so well and smooth and she had no health problems. This time, even in the hospital the ear doctor was concerned after the first exam and wanted to recheck her hearing. Fortunately it all turned out ok and she has no problems but it already scared me a little. Now, it seems that Alyss needs to be put in a special sling to keep her hips in the right position so that they develop correctly. It really scares and saddens me and I've been thinking how hard it must be for parents of really sick children to see them suffer. I felt really sad and anxious when the nurse drew her blood or when the ultrasound tech pushed on her hips to get the pictures. Doctors and nurses seem so heartless. They all do their job and had to act as if they don't care that the baby is in pain and scared but I just have such a hard time watching them and not being able to help Alyss in any way, just try my best to comfort her. I really hope that Alyss will turn out healthy and okay and that both her and Jane will grow healthy and happy.

So tiny 

In her bear suit

I'm the big sister

Little sister

My baby and I

My other baby and I

New Baby in our House

Well, when we decided to have our babies close to each other in age we thought that even though it would be hard having little ones at the same time, it wouldn't be impossible to deal with. The first couple of days after Alyss and I came home from the hospital seemed to try to prove the exact opposite. The first day, Monday I asked David to stay home and help me even though my mom was here and very willing to help. I needed him to be with me and to help me go through the baby blues, the pain from giving birth and having an episiotomy and really swollen hemorrhoids and the huge adjustment that having a toddler and a new baby might've required. So, even though that day wasn't the best day of my life, it wasn't too bad either.

The next day though David went to work and possibly the hardest day of my life was just about to begin. Jane woke up crying and never stopped throughout the day. Alyss was being as good as a newborn can be, just fussing whenever she needed to eat, but because of the extra tension and Jane's crying she decided that she should be crying as well. On top of this craziness I was in really bad pain. The episiotomy hurt, my bottom hurt, I had cramps, my breasts started making milk and were heavy and painful, my nipples were sore from breastfeeding and I was pretty constipated and really needed to get some relief. Well, It took me almost all day to find the relief I needed while having Jane with me in the bathroom crying and throwing tantrums, holding unto me wherever I went and screaming uncontrollably every time I held Alyss to feed her or to change her diaper. Never thought that Jane was going to have such a hard time accepting Alyss  but she seemed to feel really lonely and abandoned. I kept crying and feeling so sad for her. I wanted to reassure her that I still loved her. I kept telling her that but she didn't seem to hear me. I thought that she really hated me for bringing Alyss home.

At the end of the day when David came home I was such a mess that I burst into tears and couldn't stop for a long while. I felt that things were never going to get better, that I was going crazy and that I just wanted to go to sleep and wake up realizing that all of it was just a nightmare.

Since then, things have changed quite a bit. Jane is now more accepting of Alyss. She pats her head sometimes and gives her the binky. In the beginning she wouldn't let Alyss close to her, she wanted to sleep on top of her when we put Alyss in bed with us, and she even tried hitting her a few times.
Things are still crazy and I still feel sometimes that I reached my limits but I love these two so much and I really want them to be happy. I sometimes feel sad that I don't get to spend as much time with Jane as I used to and that I can't give Alyss as much attention as I gave Jane when she was a newborn. I believe now that I can deal with this new situation, even though it isn't going to be easy and I really hope that I will be able to manage my time well and also be able to enjoy life and the excitement of having two beautiful and sweet baby girls.

The Perfect Birth Experience - Alyss Lucy Johansen

Alyss Lucy Johansen

Holding Alyss for the first time

Daddy introducing Alyss to Jane

During the third trimester I've been really contemplating the idea to VBAC and started going to a clinic (Valley OB) in Provo to get ready to deliver at the Utah Valley Medical Center.
So, after a great second pregnancy the time has come to give birth to our baby daughter. My desire to VBAC was taken into account and when we went to the doctor for the 39w2d appointment, he decided to strip my membranes (ouch, that really hurt) to hopefully start labor early. He also suggested that we should be induced before 40 weeks to keep the baby small and hopefully easier to deliver vaginally. The induction was set for Friday, Feb 17th. I did get some more bloody show and some contractions but they were irregular and didn't really start labor.

We showed up at the hospital at 7am and sat around for a couple of hours before the doctor came and broke my water. I was having some contractions on my own before he broke my water but they were not strong or regular so I was given oxytocin to help with the contractions and the dilation. After I was given the oxytocin and my water was broken I started getting stronger and more painful contractions to the point where after about two hours I asked for some pain medicine. I was given a narcotic that took the edge off the pain and helped me get through contractions easier. However, even with the narcotic, after another hour I felt that I really needed the epidural, which was administered around 11am. It felt really good when the epidural started working and I could relax a bit and get some rest. At this point I was 6 cm dilated. Since I was pretty sleepy I tried to sleep a little but after about another 30 minutes the doctor came to check up on me and announced that I was dilated to 10 cm and it was time to take me off the epidural and have me start pushing. Both David and myself were really surprised that I progressed so quickly (it took 10 hours for me to get to 10 cm the first time). So, we started pushing (I was at stage 0 at that time) and immediately the baby's head started showing. After pushing for about 20 minutes and needing an episiotomy (thank goodness that I was numbed up and didn't need any other shots for that) Alyss Lucy Johansen was born and David got to cut her umbilical cord. The entire birth took 3 hours and 50 minutes!

Alyss weighted 7lb 10oz and was 19in long. After the nurses cleaned her up a little bit and put some drops in her eyes they brought her to me and put her on my chest. I was so happy that I was able to deliver her vaginally and that she was so beautiful, healthy and perfect. They took her away to get her really cleaned up and run other tests and I was left with the doctor to finish sewing up my incision. After I was moved to another room to recover Alyss was brought to me and I nursed her. Even though my belly was hurting and my episiotomy started to hurt as well whenever I held Alyss I felt better and forgot of all the pain. We stayed in the hospital for 2 days and went home on Sunday.

From start to end this pregnancy and birth were exactly as I always dreamed. I don't feel sad or unaccomplished when I think back at Jane's C-section birth but I'm very happy that I was able to experience a natural birth and was awake and alert when Alyss came into this world.
We love you very much little Alyss and are very happy and so excited that you joined our family.