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| Kaley and I co-sleeping peacefully |
I'll start out by saying that Kaley's been breastfed on demand from day one. When I decided to stop feeding her at night she was just a couple of weeks over 20 months old.
I decided to stop feeding her for multiple reasons. First, her pediatrician informed me that her teeth were getting bad because of the night nursing. Second, she would literally stay attached to me some nights to the point where I couldn't move or she'd wake up crying. Third, neither one of us was getting enough sleep. I was tired and yelling at the girls and I didn't want that anymore.
So, after we went through a rough night where she nursed the entire time and my nipples were starting to hurt again, I decided that the next night will be it; we would stop nursing at night. I researched some gentle ways of doing it and I found Dr. Jay Gordon's advise. We cosleep and so our situation was a little different than that of other families. Dr. Gordon's advise is specifically designed for cosleeping families so I thought I'd follow his suggestions. I also watched some Youtube videos of moms who successfully night-weaned their toddlers without too much effort and read a couple of articles written by RIE advocates. I thought I'd apply what I liked from the different sources and hopefully it won't be too hard to do it.
Well, the night came. According to Dr. Gordon, you need to set a specific time when you're not going to nurse anymore (say 11 to 6) You can nurse before and after but not during that time. I nursed Kaley that night and then, at 11:30 I stopped and told her it was now time for bed. I had told her in advance that we would have to say "bye-bye" to the boobs at night and even though she didn't seem happy about it I don't think she really thought we would not nurse anymore. So, when she tried to get to the boob and I refused she started screaming. It was the type of scream that breaks your heart. She kicked and hit me and kept pulling at my shirt. It was one of the hardest things I've done but I stayed firm. When she hit me, I'd put her on the bed where she would just scream and call me. I always stayed calm and right next to her but it didn't seem to make much of a difference. After crying for about 30 minutes I picked her up and started walking in the room and bouncing her like a little baby. She eventually calmed down enough to fall asleep. I put her on the bed and she kept sleeping but whimpering too. I was so heartbroken but I knew that I needed to be strong for her. While she was crying I told her A LOT that I loved her. It took everything not to give in. Four hours later she woke up asking for boob. Again, I refused and offered her water. The screaming began again, I thought, even harder and more heartbreaking. It lasted for almost an hour but she eventually laid down and fell asleep on her own. She slept 3 more hours and then when she woke up I offered her the breast and we both kept on sleeping for another hour.
The second night I was terrified about the whole process and about our neighbors calling the cops on us if we torture the poor baby again. This second night was about the same just one thing was different. Daddy came in the room while she was kicking and screaming and she just stopped. I was holding her and she fell asleep in my arms. When she woke up 3.5 hours later daddy had to go stay with Jane and Alyss who heard the screaming and were not very happy. Thankfully they didn't fully wake up but Kaley did give us another round of screams.
The third night I thought I'd do things a bit differently. I was alone at home with all three girls and I was worried that no one will go to sleep and I'll end up with three screaming kids. So, after everybody was bathed, we all got into my bed, we read a story and I nursed Kaley while we read it. After everyone brushed their teeth we said "bye-bye" to the boobs. Jane and Alyss fell asleep pretty fast but Kaley found my phone and she started watching some Winnie the Pooh. Daddy came home from work and moved Jane and Alyss to their room and then came to lay down with us. Both he and I were getting tired so we kind of laid down and got pretty sleepy. Kaley watched Pooh a bit more and then she laid down all by herself, without any crying or fussing and fell asleep. I eventually fell asleep too and the next thing I know it was the morning. David had already gone to work. It was 9am when Kaley woke up and asked for boob. I gave her some and she fell asleep again for another hour.
On night four I decided to just stop nursing right before bed, contrary to dr. Gordon's advise. After I nursed her a bit we brushed teeth and went to bed. She started crying when we went to bed but she calmed down and cuddled with daddy. She woke up twice and whimpered a bit each time but fell back asleep within minutes. The next two nights she fell asleep with me without daddy and without any crying and slept through the night, about nine hours straight. When she wakes up in the morning she asks to nurse and I'm totally ok with that.
So, I think we did it. I'm still a little nervous every night when I put her to bed but I think she learned now that we don't nurse at night anymore. It was hard the first two nights but I trusted her and she showed me that she can do it. Good job little angel and sleep well! I love you!
