So, I did it! Jane is here! Woo hoo! I was getting close after all! :)
I've been thinking about writing this post for a couple of weeks but I just couldn't get myself to do it until now. Life is so different. All I want to do is be with Jane. I'll write Jane's birth story though because I feel that it's important and because I hope to be able to remember this experience over the years. So, here it goes.
It all really started on her due date, the 3rd of November. My mom and I went for a walk and ate something at Burger King. The whole day I'd been loosing my mucous plug and at night my constipation went away which felt pretty good. I'd read that these were signs that labor might be close but I wasn't really feeling much different than other days. Anyway, on the 4th we went to the clinic for my 40weeks appointment. We get there and the nurse hooks me up to some machine. I had no idea what she was doing but as I was lying there I started feeling pain in my belly and back. I asked the doctor if the machine was causing that pain but he said that it only measured baby's heartbeat and the amount of amniotic fluid. The pain got pretty bad making me want to sit up. Lying on my back wasn't comfortable at all. So, he checked the amount of amniotic fluid and said that it's a little low. I told him that since earlier that morning I'd been losing some sort of greenish fluid. He then checked for dilation and told me that I was a 2 but that didn't mean that I was in labor necessarily. When I got up after the exam there was more fluid coming out. The doctor checked to see if it was amniotic fluid and said that it probably was and that I should go to the hospital right away. We went to the hospital and they hooked me up to the same type of machine and checked if I was leaking amniotic fluid. After being there a little over an hour the nurse decided that what I was leaking wasn't amniotic fluid and that i should come back if I was leaking amniotic fluid, if I was having contractions or if I was bleeding. Both David and I were disappointed and a little upset that this wasn't it. I was pretty sure that what I was leaking was amniotic fluid but I couldn't be sure. So, we went to Costco and walked around to release some of the stress. I had to stop periodically as I was having a crampy type of pain that came and went. David started timing the pain that turned out to be labor contractions and and they were about 8 minutes apart with a few that didn't follow the pattern. We went home eventually and David left for work at Borders. Since I wasn't feeling too good I decided to take a nap and just take it easy for the rest of the evening. The contractions went away so I was able to rest pretty good. Soon after David came home, around 11:30PM the contractions returned and with them a gush of fluid came out. I was pretty sure that I must be in active labor or at least that my waters broke. We went to the hospital and was admitted right away. It was so funny when we arrived to the hospital and the security guard just pointed towards the elevator that we needed to take to go to Labor and Delivery without asking us anything. When we got there there was another couple who as being checked in. I was definitely in more pain than the other girl but she was leaking more and was wrapped up in a towel. I was checked in before her and was lead to a room where the nurse confirmed that my waters broke and I could stay. She hooked me up to a machine that registered the contractions and baby's heartbeat and asked me if I wanted the epidural. I first said no but after about half an hour I asked for it and the anesthesiologist came and gave it to me. It didn't really hurt much, just the shot he first gave me to numb up the spot where he introduced the catheter. The contractions hurt much more so I was relieved when I felt something warm going down towards my legs and taking the pain away with it. My left side numbed up pretty quickly but I had to turn on my right for the epidural to work on that side too. It did work in a few minutes and I was even able to sleep for a couple of hours. When the nurse checked me again I was still at 3 cm so she gave me pitocin which worked like a charm and by around 9 in the morning I was dilated to a 10. Everything seemed to be working well except for the epidural. I kept pushing that button to get more and also kept turning from side to side but after a while it worked only partially so I was able to feel most of the contractions. My back was hurting really bad and the contractions got so strong to the point where I started crying and throwing up. My body was also shaking uncontrollably so the nurse decided without asking the doctor to just have me start pushing (the doctor wanted me to wait another hour after I was fully dilated to make things easier). I felt a bit of relief when I started pushing but within a few minutes the pain got really strong again. All this time the anesthesiologist (this time a cute and happy guy from India) kept coming to give me more anesthetic and I was also pushing the button to get more of it into my body. My legs were really numb and my right side was numb to the point where I could feel a little pain but nothing unbearable. It was the left side that really hurt and especially my back. With the help of David, my sister in law Charity and the nurse I kept pushing through the contractions for a little over two hours but when Dr. Bench checked me the baby was still at stage 0, meaning she didn't descend at all. The doctor went and consulted with another doctor about what would be the best thing to do. When he came back I was crying and throwing up again and he told me that the best option would be to have a C-section since both myself and the baby were really tired and stressed and it didn't seemthat the baby was able to descend even if I kept pushing longer. As the doctor was talking I interrupted him and told him that I agree with the C-section and that we should do it as soon as possible, which turned out to be in about an hour. They gave me some really strong anesthetic that numbed me up from the chest down and took me to the Operating Room. David came with me, dressed in a funny suit and Charity stayed and waited in the labor room. The OR was really cold, which didn't help my already shivering body, but the nurses brought me a nice, warm blanket and put a tube with warm air to blow on me. As I watched the doctors get ready I kind of started to freak out because I could tell that I wasn't numbed up well enough. The anesthesiologist came and talked to me about what I was feeling then he asked me if I was ready for the operation to begin to which I answered a very categoric "NO" because I was afraid that I would feel pain. Both him and David smiled and told me than that the doctors were already cutting me open and obviously I wasn't feeling any pain. :) Not very long after, David announced that the doctors were getting really close to getting the baby out. My eyes filled with tears of excitement and anticipation. I'd forgotten about all the pain and troubles I've gone through an all I felt was happiness and strong emotions. The anesthesiologist pulled down the curtain that was separating me from the doctors and I saw dr. Bench pull Jane out of my belly. As she was coming out she started crying and I started crying with her. It was 1:08PM when she was born and she weighed 9lb 7oz and was 20 in long. The nurses took her away for a little bit to check her, and David went with them but returned soon holding Jane in his arms. She was so tiny. Her hair was really dark and her skin was red and very soft. I couldn't help but cry more as I kissed her gently on her forehead. David had to take her away again and I was left with the doctors to finish up the operation. As they were working on me I started feeling real pain this time and the anesthesiologist gave me a couple more shots that pretty much knocked me out. I could hear everyone talk and I knew that they were moving me and even talking to me but it was all like a dream. I woke up around 3PM in a different room. A couple of nurses were there as well as Charity, cousin Sara and my sweet David. Later that day my Mom came to visit, as well as Chris and his wife Miriam, Eni and Lia, and Carl and Karina. The nurses brought Jane to me and I fed her then for the first time. I couldn't believe how small and beautiful she was. I felt really happy, which happiness hasn't left me yet and I know that will linger on for a really long time.
As I look back on this experience and on the feelings I had while it happened I cannot but be amazed of the intensity of the emotions I went through. As the contractions started I became impatient and happy that we were getting really close. After being accepted into the hospital I was happy that now labor was really happening and that Jane was going to be with us soon. After the epidural stopped working properly I became anxious that this was going to be a really long process and that I will not be able to do it and finish the job. When I got to the pushing part I tried really hard to get Jane out. I wanted her out but what I was feeling was really weird. I felt like I didn't want her anymore. This feeling scared me. I knew that I did everything in my power to get her out but it just wasn't going to work out the way we planned. And her being inside my body was causing me so much pain and discomfort that I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. It was almost like it was her fault that I was going through all this. I felt better when we decided to have the C-section and as Dr. Bench took Jane out all I could feel was happiness. I'd forgotten about the pain and I just wanted to hold my baby and love her. David experienced a bunch of different emotions as well. I was so happy to see him excited about holding Jane soon but seeing him cry because I was in pain warmed my heart and deepened my love for him.
Back to the story, we were discharged from the hospital on Monday, the 8th. More feelings came over me as we arrived home and I watched Jane lie on our bed. I just wanted to cry and couldn't believe that she was there with us. It was a cry of happiness. I am so thankful for having Jane in our lives. She is a little ray of sunshine and happiness. I love holding her and watching David feed her, play with her, change her diaper and just be happy to have her. I would never go back to not having Jane and I'm just so overwhelmed with gratitude and love. I love you so much my sweet little angel!
